Confirm or Deny: David Duchovny
Posted April 27, 2018 4:52 p.m. EDT
Maureen Dowd: George Clooney is the most overrated basketball player in L.A.
David Duchovny: Confirm.
MD: Princeton basketball needs to bring back the backdoor.
DD: Yeah, confirm. One hundred percent.
MD: You explained what a booty call is to Prince Charles.
DD: Confirm! It’s true.
MD: As a teenager, you were a delivery boy for a meat market in Greenwich Village.
DD: Confirm. I spent the entire time hoping that a bored, dissatisfied housewife would invite me in. I learned two things. One was, that doesn’t happen, and the other is that cleaning the rotisserie is no fun.
MD: You like Polaroids.
DD: Love them, yeah. They’re nostalgic to me. Did you ever do the thing where you take the picture before it develops, you take a coin and you make strips in it? And it will look like a Basquiat, kind of.
MD: You still sing Bree Sharp’s 1999 song “David Duchovny, Why Won’t You Love Me” to yourself in the car.
DD: Confirm. And to anybody else in the car.
MD: You don’t watch “Madam Secretary.”
DD: Oh, no, I see it sometimes. Deny.
MD: You’re the male Helen Mirren. You never mind stripping down on-screen.
MD: You auctioned your famous red Speedo from “The X-Files” on eBay?
MD: You once roomed with your Collegiate classmate John F. Kennedy Jr. on a field trip to Washington in 1975.
MD: A lot of millennial women know you mainly as Carrie Bradshaw’s ex-boyfriend who ends up in a mental hospital in “Sex and the City.”
DD: Yes, it’s very strange to me. I confirm that.
MD: You’ve never read Gillian Anderson’s sci-fi novels?
MD: You’ve never socialized with Gillian.
DD: We’ve gone out to dinner. You know, between five and 10 times.
MD: You were the head boy at Collegiate high school.
MD: Vancouver, where you filmed “The X-Files,” never forgave you for saying “Vancouver is a very nice place if you like 400 inches of rainfall a day” and for lobbying to move the show to L.A. so you could be with Téa Leoni when you first got married.
DD: It’s true when I go there, people will still talk about that I said it rained. They’ll never forgive me. The sad part is that I would do anything to live in Vancouver right now to get out of this country.
MD: You lost “Jeopardy!” to Stephen King in 1995 on this final question: “On March 24, 1994, this store held a breakfast to announce the new Truman Capote literary trust.” You answered “What is Rizzoli’s” instead of “What is Tiffany’s.”
DD: I choked. I went to dinner with Téa after that, and I was seriously depressed. She was like, “You’re just playing Jeopardy!” I was like: “You don’t understand. This revealed something of my character that I don’t want to look at.”
MD: You also lost “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” when you got this movie line wrong: “You be careful out there among them English.'’ You answered “Braveheart,” when it was obviously “Witness.”
DD: Choking all over the place. Not only did I lose on it, but I argued like a sore loser afterwards, saying it wasn’t fair because there was no comma after “there.” So not only am I a sore loser but I’m a stickler for grammar — two very horrible qualities.
MD: Your favorite album of all time is the Beatles’ “White Album.”
MD: Samuel Beckett had it right when he said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
DD: Yeah. If I was going to get a tattoo on my ass, it would be that. A tramp stamp.
MD: Your favorite actor is Meryl Streep.
DD: No, I think she’s the best. My favorite might be Travolta. I don’t think he’s the best actor, but I feel like he loves to act so much that it’s infectious when I watch him.
MD: It’s cooler to stop just short of getting your Ph.D. than to get one.
DD: Deny. I always wanted to have a credit that said “Starring Dr. David Duchovny.”
MD: You wore a false mustache to get your marriage license.
MD: Your nickname in grade school was “Hayseed.”
MD: Your favorite press ever was when you did the interview with Marilyn Manson about video games for PlayStation magazine.
DD: Confirm. Aside from today’s interview.
MD: The center isn’t holding.