CARY, N.C. — After a combined 60 years working in the Triangle as direct competitors in the drug development industry, Paula Brown Stafford and Lisa T. Grimes formed a strong friendship and common goal to promote female success and empowerment.
“We became fast friends because we have very similar values and what drives us is very similar, but how we do things are completely opposite, and I think that’s why we work so well together,” Stafford said.
Grimes is the president and chief executive officer of PurThread Technologies, and Stafford works as the chief development officer at Novan after a 30-year career at QuintilesIMS, where she was most recently president of clinical development.
The duo’s most recent project is a book,
“Remember Who You Are,” targeted at career women and men who want to improve working relationships with women.
“I did not have any female mentors when I was growing in my career, and often times, I was the only female in a particular situation, whether it be in an executive meeting or on a board, so we want to share what we have learned,” Stafford said.
The idea for the book sparked in 2006, and the women began writing in January 2016. The public release is scheduled for March 6, 2018.
“We focused on three themes — achieving success, creating balance and finding fulfillment,” Grimes said.
The book’s title stems from the overarching theme of remaining authentic.
“Find your passion, be authentic to who you are, and give back,” Grimes said. “We feel if you find your passion, you’re going to be good at it, and you’re going to succeed in the different areas of your life."
Another major theme Grimes and Stafford push is the idea that women should advocate for other women. They feel that too often women work against women.
“Lisa and I were competitors at different companies before, but we now focus on complementing not competing,” Stafford said.
WRAL sat down with Stafford and Grimes to discuss the book and their advice to other women in the Triangle.
“We dedicated an entire chapter to relationships with female bosses and female coworkers because that’s what differentiates us from other books. We focus on building women up and complimenting other women,” Stafford said.
This conversation with Stafford and Grimes was edited for clarity:
WRAL: If you were to write a letter to your 22-year-old self, what would you say?
LG: Realize that adversity builds character, so don’t get yourself so wrapped up in day-to-day problems. It’s never the end of the world. When you make a mistake, own it and help someone else own it. Sometimes career women can get really defensive because we have had to prove ourselves before, and that ultimately hurts us.
PS: Give 110 percent. Don’t just do what you’re asked, but what you're asked plus more. I would tell my younger self to be authentic to who you are, but don’t try to fake it. Be you, and the sooner you can find out who you are, the sooner you can be the best you.
Be willing to take a risk. I think we both took risks early in our careers. When I was young, I told the CEO of Quintiles, if he were to send me somewhere, I would go. Six months later, I was moving to the United Kingdom. If I hadn’t taken the risk to have that conversation, that opportunity wouldn’t have come. In your 20s, take risks. I tell my kids, “You’re magic. You can be anything you want to be.” Be willing to take a risk and see where it takes you.
LG: And if the risk doesn’t work out, move on, and learn from it. Don’t waste your life worrying about it. Learn from it. Don’t sit around wallowing in your mistakes.
WRAL: Women are having children later in life for a variety of reasons, but some because of their careers. Do you recommend working women have children in their 30s instead of their 20s?
LG: My husband and I actually tried to have children before we had children, so having children a bit later wasn’t on purpose for our careers. I think if you’re trying to have your career take off like a rocket ship and you’re trying to have children at the same time, you’re probably going to have times that you feel like you’re butting heads with yourself. But do you wait? I think that’s a personal choice. It depends on your path and your priorities.
PS: I actually wasn’t sure in my 20s if I wanted to have children. I was working at a growing company, and I then lived abroad. I was married at 27, and I was all about my career. But then after a couple of years, we wanted to add something to it because life wasn’t going to be whole for us without children. So we started having children at the age of 30. But we didn’t specifically hold off for career. It’s just how life happened and a personal choice. I wouldn’t say hold off, but figure out your priorities and what is balance for you.
WRAL: What’s the best way to handle having a less-than-ideal boss or supervisor?
PS: I think I counted a while back, and I have had 19 supervisors in my career, and I would not say that all 19 were the greatest. Most of the time you can’t choose your supervisor. I felt really at my wits end when I couldn’t trust the person. For me, trust is key. If you don’t trust that person, then find someone in the company that you do trust and have them as a sponsor, mentor or a coach. You need someone above you that you can trust.
LG: Yes, sometimes that happens. But find someone at the company who will support you and you can confide in. It can be a mentor or just someone you work with. But having someone you can trust and talk with at work is key.
WRAL: If a woman has a partner, how important is it for that partner to be supportive to her success?
LG: It is extremely important. I think we would both agree that we wouldn’t have had the careers we have had if we didn’t have extremely supportive spouses. My husband and I made the choice early on that we would both have careers and that we would follow whoever’s career path was better a opportunity at the time. We would sit down and evaluate. It goes back to finding balance and choices.
PS: I have reflected on that recently, as I have a daughter in her 20s. I think the key is to be with someone who builds you up and doesn’t bring you down. Really that is someone who wants you to be better in everything that you are, be that a mother, a career woman, and I think in looking for that partner it’s someone that builds you up.
I’ve been blessed with an amazing husband. Did I know that when I was 24 to 27 when I was dating him? Probably not. But you have to go with your instincts and talk about your priorities early. I hoped and I prayed for it, but boy did I pick well.
WRAL: You mentioned there is a difference between a job and a job that is advancing your career. What are signs it’s time to move on from a current role?
PS: I use three to four years in a role as a general rule. In the first year, you’re figuring out what the job is about. The next two years you do the job very well. But then the last year, you should be looking forward. Decide what the role is bringing to you and if there is opportunity for growth. When you’re not being challenged, that’s when you need to be thinking about how to grow in the company or out of the company.
LG: It takes you a couple years to start performing and understanding the job. But If something happens that you aren’t comfortable with from a values standpoint or if you don’t have the skillset and could not develop them, then that’s different. Those could be red flags.
But even if it’s not exactly what you want to do, look at a job as a tool to acquire skills and experience. You can learn something from every experience.
