Comfortably Uncomfortable: How to crush your kid's comfort zone

From the time they are born, we try to make our kids comfortable and keep them safe. It’s our job as parents. Right? What if I told you that we are doing them a disservice?

When I was little, I wanted to be an actor which was a lofty dream for a 3-year-old with no agent or car to get her to auditions. However, creating and entertaining was just part of my soul. I would put on a crazy outfit, get up in front of the whole family, and perform. My family thought it was cute and often they went back to whatever they were doing.

I took acting lessons throughout the years but in the name of security, I followed my parent’s direction and took the safe route. I went to business school instead. This was a far cry from my dream but like many other kids, I was taught to choose security first. Dreams were secondary and most certainly not a career option. So, I stayed safely tucked within my comfort zone.

I wound up successfully but unhappily working in the corporate world for many years. I got married, had kids, and lived life - but guess what? Deep inside I still had that gnawing feeling that I still wanted to be an actor. Every time I saw an award show or great movie, I wanted that to be me.

I remember thinking, “What am I nuts? I am 40 years old, have kids and a mortgage. I can’t start over.”

Then one day, I had an epiphany – I didn’t want to be 80 years, look back on my life and say I never even tried. Ironically, a few months later I was laid off and knew it was finally time. At 40 years young, I threw caution to the wind and finally was ready to get uncomfortable.

Truth be told - It was the scariest, most wonderful experience in my life.

Since then, I have been happily acting, writing, and doing what truly makes me feel fulfilled. It took me a while, but I learned the hard way that dreams are first, security is second and the rest will fall into place.

Now I teach my girls, to follow their hearts because living within their comfort zone will only hold them back. I am not suggesting we teach our kids recklessness or to cross the street without looking both ways. I am simply proposing we give them the amazing gift of being comfortably uncomfortable. It’s a prerequisite for achieving their dreams and an inevitable part of the growing process.

“If we are growing, we are always going to be outside our comfort zone.” John Maxwell