Opinion

Chance of UFO sightings in Florida is a $10 million question

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- It doesn't seem right that Florida is dead last among states when it comes to UFO sightings.

Posted Updated

By
Frank Cerabino
, Cox Newspapers

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- It doesn't seem right that Florida is dead last among states when it comes to UFO sightings.

I would think that this metric, as opposed to, say, teacher pay, would be an area where we would excel.

But that's the finding of a study by Casino.org, an internet gambling site that looked at the past 78 years of reported sightings of unidentified flying objects in America, and calculated the per-capita chance that anyone in various states would claim to be an eyewitness to a space visitor.

Perhaps Florida is so inundated with terrestrial visitors that we tend not to be looking up for invaders as much as residents in other states.

Either that, or that space aliens tend to share some of the same dermatology issues that Floridians do, and therefore, the space travelers blend in better here.

The gambling site has put the odds of seeing a UFO in Florida at 348,500-to-1. Which seems like a long shot, unless you consider that the odds of winning the Florida Lotto is 22.9 million-to-1.

There have been 6,020 UFO sightings in Florida during the past three-quarters of a century, according to the study. Apparently, there ought to be more.

After all, Florida is the place in America where you can buy space alien abduction insurance.

OK, now that makes sense.

Mike St. Lawrence runs The Alien Abduction & Casualty Insurance Co. out of his home in Altamonte Springs. The 70-year-old accountant has been selling alien abduction policies since 1987.

"People buy them for somebody else," St. Lawrence said. "They usually just make themselves the beneficiary."

For as low as $19.95, St. Lawrence will send you a suitable-for-framing $10 million alien abduction insurance certificate, which has a $20 million double indemnity clause if "the aliens insist on conjugal visits" or if the human abductee is referred to as "the other white meat."

St. Lawrence stressed that his insurance policy was only for space aliens. He doesn't want to tangle with the Canadian government over this.

"And if you're abducted, you have to get a signature from an authorized onboard alien," he said. "It should be from the captain, like their Captain Kirk."

And as for payouts, the fine print says they are distributed at $1 per year for 10 million years.

"It's like the lottery and Publisher's Clearinghouse," he said. "You've got to read the fine print."

St. Lawrence said he has grown weary of state regulators questioning him on whether his online insurance certificates are real.

"I've been investigated more by the Florida Department of Insurance than anybody," he said. "They understand what it's all about now."

Or as St. Lawrence puts it on his site: "You can't get it ... if you don't get it."

And if that's not clear enough, he requires would-be enrollees to take what he calls the "Texas I.Q. Test", which consists of three questions: Do you have a sense of humor? Do you take this coverage seriously? Were your parents related before they were married?

If you answer "yes" to more than one question, you can't buy the policy.

St. Lawrence says about 50,000 people around the world have policies.

"Donald Trump has a policy in his name," St. Lawrence said. "I can't remember who the beneficiary is. I think it's Kim Jong-un."

As for Florida being the state with the smallest chance of spotting a UFO, well, St. Lawrence thinks that's just crazy.

"There's something wrong with their numbers," he said. "From my experience as far as policyholders go, Florida's not on the end of the bell curve.

"And as somebody who lives in Florida, I've got UFO's flying over my house every night."

Frank Cerabino writes for The Palm Beach Post. Email: fcerabino(at)pbpost.com.

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