Burger review: Mattie B's Public House

Mattie B's Public House isn't ready to commit.

Posted 2:35 p.m. Jun 2, 2015 — Updated 2:35 p.m. Jun 2, 2015

The Straight Beef

DURHAM, N.C. — Mattie B’s Public House isn’t ready to commit. Its menu and décor kinda feature a musical theme, kinda not. Its homemade chips kinda come as described, kinda not. Its sandwich selection is kinda organized by burgers and non-burgers, kinda not. The beef on its patty melt kinda covers about half the bread, kinda not. The patty is kinda cooked to order, kinda not.

But we’ll say this about Mattie B’s: Its unwavering commitment to not committing is nothing short of impressive. Inspiring, even. We mean, right on, Mattie B’s – we don’t wanna commit to stuff, either! In fact, we found ourselves waxing poetic about times in our own lives when were been ready to suck it up, step up to the plate, and remain completely non-committal. Here are a few:

I kinda want to run a marathon, but I’m not a big fan of running.

I kinda like driving fast and living hard, but insurance rates are so expensive.

I kinda want my bacon spread evenly on my burger, but the general vicinity is OK.

I kinda want an Apple Watch, but I’m not a big fan of watches.

I kinda want to follow Phish around the country, but I work ‘til 5 every day.

I kinda want to see the Stones in July, but I don’t want to sell my liver for a ticket.

I kinda feel ready to stop binge-watching "Lost," but I only have like 7 seasons left.

I kinda like a music theme for the menu but…oh, hey, squirrel!

Our scores for Mattie B's:

Michael’s rating: 2.50 out of 5.0
Scott’s rating: 2.50 out of 5.0
Don’s rating: 2.75 out of 5.0
Shawn’s rating: 2.75 out of 5.0

Mattie B’s overall ranking: 53 out of 62.

Scott Blumenthal, Michael Marino and Reverend Donald Corey are The Straight Beef, professional burgiatrists who review, rate and rank Triangle-area burgers on their award-winning blog. You can read more about The Straight Beef, including their education and scholarship, ratings system, and burger categorization method on their official website.

Shawn Krest picked up his burgiatry on the streets, unlike the East Coast elite with their advanced burgiatry degrees. After graduating from the school of hard rolls, he moved south and still doesn’t understand the concept of barbecue. Shawn would never pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today, so don’t lend him money.

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