Breaking down assisted living: what to consider in making a life plan

Making the decision to move a loved one into a senior living community poses its own challenges — and it can be difficult to know when to start planning, when to know if it's the right time and how to find the right community.

Even before you begin to notice signs of change in your loved one, having a plan in place helps save time, stress and even money.

"The number one thing for families is conversation, in learning about communities and options and in leading up to the move, no matter what, always be honest with your loved ones, have open honest conversations," said Traci Marks, executive director at Kempton of Jacksonville, a senior living community located in Jacksonville NC. "While they're still figuring out what the transition plan will be, I recommend finding a support system — maybe senior services, some exercise programs, even a health aid that can make visits. Anything that helps the family be involved and educated."

In addition to listening to your loved ones wants and needs, making a financial plan can alleviate some of the uncertainty of your decision. If possible, it's best to start planning for the financial aspect sooner rather than later. If that's not an option, then you may need to consider home care until you're able to afford the right senior living community for your loved one.

"If you're young enough, you can look into long-term care insurance, and some families even look into aid offered by Veteran Affairs," said Holly Hines, a dementia care coordinator at Liberty Senior Living, a senior living operator and developer. "Understanding the different levels of care that are offered can help you make a financial plan. Is it private pay? Do they accept Medicaid? How do they determine their levels of care?"

"Assisted living communities will also do outreach to elder law attorneys, and they can generally recommend somebody that can help you figure out the financial ins and outs. Some law offices will actually have a senior advisor specifically for that," she finished.

While having a plan in place certainly makes things easier, not everyone has the chance to prepare. There are certain signs to keep an eye out for that indicate your loved one may need to relocate to a senior living community sooner rather than later.

"Look at whether they're still capable of doing what they usually would when it comes to making decisions about things like finances. Maybe they have some driving difficulties, or their nutrition isn't as good as it used to be, and they're doing a whole lot of microwaveable meals or Meals on Wheels," said Hines. "Maybe you're noticing that they're not able to perform activities of daily living as well as their hygiene and personal diet has changed. There's a little bit more repetitiveness, a little bit more forgetfulness, a little bit more isolation — and that usually also has an effect on their mental state, as well."

While some of these are natural signs of aging, Hines recommends keeping a journal in order to track the frequency and seriousness of the conditions. Additionally, managing a calendar and prescription schedule can help keep your loved one on track.

Once it comes time to start looking for a senior living community, both Hines and Marks recommend searching online, then arranging in-person tours to get a better idea of what the community is like. Oftentimes, a county's social services department can help locate resources.

While creating a life plan for a loved one comes with difficulties, making sure they're able to give input into the decision is one of the most important things you can do, if possible.

"Start the conversation when they're able to help you make those decisions," said Hines. "Because there is a whole lot that goes into making those choices, and you want them to feel as comfortable as possible."