Ask Anything: 10 questions with Wedding Planner Tammy Nesmith
Wedding Planner Tammy Nesmith answers your questions about "Bridezillas," bridesmaids and budgets. Plus, Veterinarian Dr. Page Wages is now taking your questions.
Posted — UpdatedJaime, when I realized that I wanted to make this my business, I did as much research as I could. I read as much as I could online and attended Bridal Shows, seminars and classes. Then I started planning weddings for friends and family (free of charge, of course). Eventually, by word of mouth, my passion became my business. My advice would be to learn all you can about the business, try and find a wedding planner that will allow you to shadow and let your family and friends know that you are available. You may want to start out by volunteering your services and then let your creative flair advertise for you.
Fortunately, I have not had anyone quite that dramatic. Weddings are such an emotional time for the bride, often the planning process gets so overwhelming the bride tends to get caught up in the moment. It's hard to be so emotionally involved and plan everything at the same time.
Wedding planners tend to bill differently, using whatever method works for them. Personally, I prefer to use a flat-fee system in which my clients know exactly what their bills will be, which alleviates any misunderstandings or surprises. I also allow my clients to pay in three installments.
Normally, if your name is the only name on the envelope, then only you are invited. The only time I would make an exception is if you are engaged or living with someone and the bride may have been unaware of this fact.
The most important thing to remember when planning your wedding, Sarah, is that it is YOUR day. You do what makes you happy. You can have your girlfriends serve as hostesses, or maybe one can read a poem, sing or serve in some other capacity. I’m sure your friends are going to be happy to just be in attendance.
Jennifer, since your venue does not allow a cash bar, try having an open bar for a specific amount of time, say an hour or two. You could also set a dollar amount limit for the bar and once that limit is reached, the bar would close. Also you could check with the venue about stocking your own bar. It would be less expensive to purchase alcohol at the ABC Store, and you may be able to return unopened bottles for a full refund. I would not encourage “drink tickets for purchase” for any reason.
That is a tricky situation, Shay, because in my experience, no matter how you stress the importance of the RSVP, you will always have people who will not do it and will show up to the reception. The best way to handle it is to have a seating chart and place cards. I normally have two to three extra tables in the rear for the non-RSVP guests and when those tables are full, I politely explain to others that we are at capacity.
I get this question a lot and, truthfully, there is no way to invite everyone to the ceremony and only some to the reception, because someone will have their feelings hurt. I would recommend that you scale back the invitation list and only invite guests to the ceremony whom you can afford to invite to the reception.
Well, this won’t be easy. Normally, whoever is dishing out the money expects to have a say in how it's spent. This is where you and your fiancé will have to sit down with your future in-laws and talk. Let them know how much you appreciate their financial help and then tell them how YOU envision your wedding day. Just be prepared and pick your battles carefully. Some things should be compromised on. Bottom line, remember the wedding, no matter how beautiful and spectacular, is one day. We still have to maintain relations beyond that day.
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