Recently, my husband and I were traveling and saw a sign that read, “Warning this item may kill you,” with a picture of a cigarette below it. The threatening tone of the sign shocked and confused us — we hadn’t seen anything like it before.
With summer starting, it sometimes feels like a warning sign is needed before it. Teens have more time in the summer to explore enrichment and illegal activities, such as trying drugs that could be laced with dangerous chemicals.
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— WARNING these items may kill you —
Preventing the worst from happening
Did you know that55%of teenagers who have tried drugs have done so because of peer pressure?
With that in mind, the teen years, especially ages 14-17, are significant for a middle adolescent to learn how to resist peer pressure. At this age, students readily learn to understand and identify triggers to negative emotions, behaviors and influences.
One researcher explained that children and teens are likely to change their perception of risky behaviors based on other people’s perceptions of those.
Learning skills and techniques such as goal-setting, self-discovery, flexibility/balance, positive self-talk, problem-solving and managing strong feelings and impulses allow the students to build and improve relationships with peers and others.
What teens’ friends are doing can have dangerous outcomes.
In Tennessee, three high school girls overdosed due to what is suspected to be drugs laced with fentanyl. Two of the girls passed away from the illegal substance use just hours before graduation. The third girl is now being tried for murder.
It’s vital to teach our teens prevention strategies on how to stand up to peer pressure like this. By doing so, we can help thwart the worst.
How not to encourage your child to avoid illegal substances
Students do not like warnings and fear-mongering.
Cognitive neuroscientist Tali Sharot's discusses this on her TEDx Talk “How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behavior.” Her presentation was powerful and has encouraged me to take some of her advice to heart.
Like many of you, I have used my voice to scare myself and others into changing behavior.
Life Coaching Question:
- If warnings or scare tactics were used in your conversation with your teen, what will you do differently moving forward?
However, Sharot explains that while people think threats get others to act, science shows that warnings have very limited impact on behavior. Instead, the fear causes people to shut down and try to avoid the threats.
Teens and kids especially struggle to learn from negative threats or information. Instead, positive information can better motivate them.
Instead, talk to your teens and kids about drugs by encouraging them to share their thoughts or feelings. You can start with asking them what they’ve heard about drugs. Ask in a nonjudgmental, open-ended way so you're more likely to get an honest response.
If you talk with them when they are preteens, it can help keep the door open as they become older to feel comfortable continuing to share their thoughts.
Also, be sure to pay attention to when your kids are going through tough times. When you notice them struggling, you can offer to give them the support they need or get extra help.
Another way to help your teen this summer is to teach them to resist peer pressure. Here are six ways to help:
6 tips to resisting peer pressure
- Choosing peers who share their values: People will experience less negative peer pressure when their friends don’t use illegal substances.
- Practicing saying no: A person can use whatever explanation they feel comfortable with, whether that involves being honest or making up an excuse.
- Using a buddy system: It helps teens to have at least one peer who does not engage in illegal behavior. By doing so, it makes it easier to resist pressure in a group setting.
- Finding positive peer pressure: If a teen has struggled with substance use, finding a group of people with a similar history who are trying to change can encourage their growth, as well.
- Seeking help: Sometimes, struggles with saying no can come from other difficult life situations or experiences. Seeking help can help teens process and better understand themselves.
- Growing Confidence: Help your teen know that they don’t need to do what their friends are doing to be accepted. Encourage your teen to be confident in who they are.
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” — Keri Russell
Gale McKoy Wilkins is a wife, mom, grandparent and family life coach. She is the founder of Project Arrow, an evidence-based peer-to-peer and leadership program teaching middle, high school and first-year college students how to deal with trauma and crisis using life coaching. It's the first life coaching organization in the state to receive funding from the Department of Public Instruction and the first to implement life coaching in a school setting.