The "fork in the road" suggests a choice. It implies a decision that must be made, and one of two options must be taken.
Have you ever encountered someone who doesn’t know how to make a decision? They can fluctuate this way or that, struggling to reach a conclusion. It can be exasperating to watch this uncertainty.
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Often, people battle with decisions for two reasons. Either they lack good choices, or they grew up having others make decisions for them.
Strong decision – making skills are first made when we are children. Parents should encourage their students to make decisions as early as preschool – yes, even at the age of three-years-old, preschoolers can learn to be decisive.
As parents and guardians, it’s crucial to coach your kids to build this skill.
Allow them to make decisions often; the more practice they have, the more confident they will become in making decisions. Encourage them to decide between spending the evening with friends or a family movie night and pizza. Find one or two options in everyday activities on which they can make decisions.
Along with this, parents should model their decision-making processes to children, according to an article by the Child Mind Institute. For example, parents can talk out loud when making decisions so children can become aware of how the choices were made. While talking aloud, be sure to share how you think through the impact of your decisions and how others’ opinions impact the actions you take.
As you do these things, you’ll see your children start to become bolder and swifter about making their own decisions. You are helping to grow their confidence – you are teaching your children how to navigate the forks in the road of life.
Learning to be a good decision-maker teaches children more than just how to make choices. It also teaches them: trust in themselves and their opinions, self-confidence, decisiveness, thoughtfulness, analytical thinking and empathy.
But what if you don’t know how to teach your children this because you struggle with decision-making yourself?
I have often heard this to be the case as a life coach. And that’s where I (or other life coaches) can assist you.
Both life coaching and counseling can help parents discover and learn personal growth. It can push you as a parent to positive change and to grow your own decision-making skills.
Along with that, articles or authors, like Russell Bishop, can give you useful tips.
Bishop recommends that when you come to a fork in the road, you need to have what he calls “response-ability,” or the ability to respond. He gives five tips to make your response:
- Notice when the road forks: Along the road of life, you will find yourself with different choices along the way. Some choices require different levels of ability or capability to make the best responses.
- Understand the options and where they could lead: Start by assembling a list of all the options that are available to you. Write them down if you have to — especially if this is a big decision.
- Evaluate the options: Now that you are aware of the choices available, the next step is to assess your ability to exercise any particular option. Ask yourself, “What is my current capability to carry out each of the options?”
- Determine which option best lines up with your desired outcome: Focus on what option is most likely to get you where you want to go. Determine which one will best lead you down your desired path.
- Pick one and notice what happens: Once you have picked which option to follow, be sure to notice what happens along the way. Awareness of the impacts of your response can help you the next time you come to a fork in the road.
STOP and picture yourself at a fork in the road. Now the choice to choose is yours. How will you proceed?
Questions to help you make your next decision:
- What is it that I need to decide?
- What are my options, even including the less-preferable ones?
- What is my gut telling me to do?
Gale McKoy Wilkins is a wife, mom, grandparent and family life coach. She is the founder of Project Arrow, an evidence-based peer-to-peer and leadership program teaching middle, high school and first-year college students how to deal with trauma and crisis using life coaching. It's the first life coaching organization in the state to receive funding from the Department of Public Instruction and the first to implement life coaching in a school setting.