When your children are little, doing the right thing involves modeling positive behavior. It’s pretty simple—share, be kind, tell the truth. But as your kids get older, doing the right thing takes on a new meaning. It involves much bigger and more complex issues.
We’ve spent a lot more time together as a family since the pandemic started, and this has created opportunities for us as parents to make choices in front of our daughters that involve doing the right thing. And there’s something about having them watching us that makes me even more determined to do the right thing even in difficult situations.
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Recently, we took a family trip to the mountains. We were staying in a condominium on the grounds of a local inn. One night, we went to the front desk to ask a question and the college-aged desk clerk was being berated by two middle-aged women regarding the condition of their room. My daughters said that they were so upset about the way the young man was being treated that I needed to step in and say something to defend him.
The women had already left at this point, so I went up to the young man and told him that I was sorry he was treated with such disrespect and that I thought he handled the situation well. He appreciated the support. As we were talking, the women came back and stood behind me and heard the entire conversation. When I left, they were contrite and polite to him. I’m not sure if it was because of what I said, or because they realized how inappropriate it was to take out their anger on a young man who was clearly just doing his job. Either way, my daughters were happy that we had made the choice to get involved.
Recently, we were walking our dog at night as a family and we saw two men walking in the other direction. One man appeared to be very intoxicated and possibly struggling with a disability. He kept falling, and the other man kept yelling at him to get up. We walked slowly, and turned around and kept seeing the man on the ground. My youngest daughter looked at me and said we have no choice but to call 911. So, we did. She said she could never forgive herself if something happened to the man and we didn’t try to help. We all agreed.
You hear it all the time, people say that having children makes them better humans. And I’ve always thought this had to do more with humility—the fact that you are putting someone else’s well-being before your own. But in reality, your children can truly make you better humans by pointing out when it’s important to do the right thing. In our chaotic, complex, self-absorbed world, sometimes it’s hard to remember that we are all responsible for one another, and that doing the right thing isn’t a choice, it’s an obligation.
So, in a way, the tables have turned. I look to them to steer me in the right direction in many situations. Yes, children make us better humans. It’s the best part of parenting. We are redeemed by good deeds reflected in their eyes. And that is priceless.
Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.