When children first go off to college, parents are initially concerned about everything. We hold our breaths, hoping the transition will be smooth.
“How is your dorm room? Do you like your roommate?”
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“How are your classes going?”
“Are you figuring out how to get around campus?”
“Are you eating enough?”
“Do you need me to mail anything from home?”
But quickly, we learn that a large part of the college journey is about who our children befriend. I would argue that the social experience is almost as important, if not more important, to contentment in college and beyond.
These are the friends they are learning about life with, the friends they are sharing late-night pizza and confidences with. And possibly, these are the friends who will stand up for them at their weddings, provide a shoulder to cry on in troubled times, and be a part of joyful post-college reunion visits for many years to come.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I found “my people” in college. And they are still my people today. They were there when I was becoming the person I am now. They are the keepers of my history, as I hope I am of theirs.
Last weekend we visited my daughter at college, and I am happy to report she found her people. They are kind, smart, funny, poised young women—but most importantly, they look out for one another, they care about each other, and treat each other with the kind of respect that only true friendship allows. I couldn’t have been prouder of the circle my daughter has chosen. And I believe this bodes well for her not just in college, but far beyond.
Yes, they are in college to get an education and prepare for a career. But a big part of preparing for life if figuring out where you fit in socially. So, encourage your kids to find their people, and when they do, you will finally exhale ...
Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.