A holiday without children is two parts relaxation and two parts void-filling. When you are used to constantly washing dishes, picking up wet towels and making sandwiches for everyone, it’s hard to remember what else you used to do to fill your time.
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This Labor Day weekend we have one in college in Virginia, and our other daughter joined a friend at the coast in another beach town.
I’ve noticed a few things—we have a lot less laundry, our lunch cooler is much smaller and we use a minimal amount of dishes (mostly coffee cups). And while it’s a break from the constant demands of taking care of a family, it’s also a challenge to not feel like you should always be doing something to fill the extra time.
In other words, you have re-learn the art of relaxation.
I think this is the beginning of the empty nesting curve. If your children are very social, this curve starts earlier because they are off with their friends as soon as they get their driver’s license. It’s a big adjustment for parents because it requires you to reach back in time—for me its 19 years—and recall the things that you used to enjoy before children but stopped doing because you didn’t have the time. A few of these things for me include reading, bike riding (for fun, not exercise), and entertaining.
As I write this, it is raining at the beach. Have you been to the beach with teenagers when it rains? It’s a challenge to entertain them. But for the moment, I have no one to entertain but myself and my husband. I am always perfectly happy to curl up with a book on a rainy day.
Now, my husband, that’s a different story. He can’t sit still. He’s vacuuming right now. I think I could get used to this…
Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.