When we become parents, we often forget that we are still someone’s child. Parenting is so all-consuming that it’s easy to forget I was a daughter way before I was a mother.
This past weekend, I visited my father and stepmother in Connecticut. My oldest daughter, Mallory, came with me. We also had the pleasure of seeing my younger sister and her family. It was what I would call a soul-feeding weekend.
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My dad is 79. I not only enjoy spending time with him, but I want to know his stories. Like anyone who has lived almost eight decades, he has walked over hot coals many times in his life. It’s imperative that we gain knowledge from our elders and our parents about what life was like for them. This is the only way we can truly glean the wisdom we need to transcend the hot coals ahead of us.
My dad was an accomplished attorney. He started his career as the district attorney of our county in Pennsylvania. His first major case in 1972 was successfully prosecuting a man who killed two police officers. His second big case involved a gang of tractor thieves (yes, I said tractor thieves) who killed 5 people. He explained to me how these cases were solved with good old-fashioned police work, not science. I love hearing his stories—especially the details.
“I kept trying to figure out what kind of rock he used to smash the barrel of the rifle. I had rocks all over my desk," he told me about one case.
A woman lied about being with the killer the night of the officers were shot. After she lied on the stand, two officers went to her home in Virginia and she finally told them the truth—that she had lied to protect him. They brought her back to Pennsylvania, and she testified again, this time, truthfully.
“How do you feel now?” my dad asked her when she was still on the stand after she told the truth.
“I feel clean, Mr. Lamb," she said. "I feel clean.”
We won’t know the details if we don’t ask. Ask your parents questions. Learn how to navigate the hot coals. Your life will be better for it ...
Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.