Do Something Different

This morning, while driving my youngest daughter’s carpool, I dropped Sarah and Hannah off, then followed my usual route home. Two blocks from home, I remembered that I had intended to go west on Hillsborough to the Kinko’s, rather than east to home.

Our habits are so ingrained, we can easily—especially as we age—go on autopilot, which is what I did this morning and do countless times across any given day.

A neuroscientist might argue that it is my brain’s way of conserving energy for the times I really need it. And certainly, as we age and our brains shrink in mass and flexibility, but maybe because of this, we need to instead force ourselves to more often do something different.

Martha Grove Hipskind, an elder consultant who often speaks about aging, charges her (usually older) audiences to park somewhere different at the Harris Teeter, brush your teeth with the other hand, go the long way home, sign up on Match.com.

I promised myself when I was younger I would never calcify like my grandparents or parents. I would not be tired at the end of the work day. I would take Italian (like one of my dear clients) or French baking. I would stencil the bathroom or take up bonsai cultivation. But I have to admit, I’m getting tired.

I also have to admit that some of the most memorable moments I’ve had in the last year, while being pretty tired, were also moments when I did do something different: I joined an accountability group of women I didn't know very well who all wanted to commit to a major life change this year; I signed up to write this column twice/week; I performed on-stage at The Monti (My story can be seen here.) I started speaking up at times when I had previously been silent.

It’s funny. While I might have intuited the power of doing something different, the neuroscience bears it out. When we try something new, our brain releases dopamine, the “reward chemical,” that then motivates us to try something else new.

So there’s your challenge this month. What new thing are you going to attempt? Be prepared to be surprised. You never know the cascade effects it might release. (And if you are over 75 and find yourself pleasantly surprised at the results, write me and tell me your story. Who knows? We might even feature you here!)