Beating the holiday blues

The holidays are a time when anyone can experience “the blues,” but especially seniors. According to the American Medical Resource Institute, over 6 million people over 65 are depressed. There are many reasons, from loneliness or loss of a spouse, to chronic health conditions and having to depend primarily or even solely on paid care instead of help from family. Sadly, only ten percent of seniors get help. Often their adult children are too overwhelmed by helping manage their parent’s day-to-day physical health needs to address any overarching psychological ones.

What’s the difference between normal holiday blues and more serious depression?

Ann Marie Sochia, Founder and General Manager for Silverlinings for Seniors, a mental health care provider traveling to homes, communities, and seeing clients in their Cary office, points to a significant change in daily behavior. “Is Mom sleeping all the time? Has Dad lost or gained a lot of weight? Does Mom cry frequently? Or is Dad wearing the same soiled clothes for days?”

She adds that it can be helpful to seek help for mental health, while at the same time visiting your primary care physician to eliminate other health conditions that might confuse the diagnosis. For example, medication side effects, a urinary tract infection (UTI), vitamin imbalances and other conditions can present as depression. To compound the problem, young people present different symptoms for the same condition than older ones. For example, while a young person with a UTI might need to urinate frequently or urgently, older adults may experience incontinence, vague fatigue, agitation or confusion. Sometimes imbalances in sodium, potassium, calcium, B12, and folate can also cloud the picture.

Even if adult children do want to seek mental health help, their parents can be resistant. They might not want to leave home to see someone or they may be suspicious of ‘therapy.’

“This is a common situation,” Sochia, who has over ten years of experience working with seniors, said. “We frame it in terms of simply talking to someone. We might say to Mom, “I'm not here just to be a therapist, I'm here to listen and help you, and bring some comfort and reassurance to your family.”

Silverlinings is the leading mobile provider, which specializes in providing mental health in the The Triangle, Triad, and Sandhills. They are expanding to other regions.

According to the AARP Foundation, prolonged isolation has the equivalent health effect of smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

Certainly, seniors living alone can suffer from isolation, but even seniors living in an assisted living facility can feel alone when hall mates leave to visit family. This can be compounded by not being able to carry out life-long traditions, like baking Christmas cookies or going to church.

“Talking about it is key,” said Sochia. “Go ahead and ask ‘What do you miss? What holiday traditions are important? If you can’t be together in person, see if it’s possible to set up a FaceTime or skype call.”

“We’re not big on labels,” Sochia added. “Insurance companies require certain codes for reimbursement. We take most insurances, as well as Medicare and Self Pay. However, when we talk with seniors, we try to use phrases that are less intimidating. As therapists working with older people, we’ve seen that we can become what we’re told we are labeled. For example, if your parents tell you you’re worthless, it’s hard for you to ever feel as if you can become anything but worthless.”

Silverlinings has an office in Cary, but sees 90% of its clients in their homes (in these areas). They employ over 25 therapists and can generally match a therapist with a senior within a week of the first call for help, because they check insurance upfront so there are no surprises later and then do the insurance billing for you. Silverlinings does employ a psychiatrist, but she has a waiting list of approximately 3 weeks. They are currently in the process of expanding their psychiatric team. Silverlining therapists will share their client notes with family members approved on a HIPPA release.

“What we’re really good at is getting people to like us and wanting to talk,” said Rachel Evans, Marketing Relationships Specialist at Silverlinings.

As a parting piece of advice, Sochia recommends if you live far from your parent, “Get to know who knows your mom or dad or neighbor, so you can call them if your parent doesn’t pick up and you are worried, instead of the cops. Most parents are ok with that. It’s all about love and care. All the things that are good for the holidays are good for the entire year.”