Amanda Lamb: Finding "the why"

I started to think about decades of our lives as very specific phases.

In our 20s, we are figuring out who we are and building our careers. In our 30s, many of us are building our families. In our 40s, we have the energy and drive to reach the top of our game in our professional lives. Our 50s, I strongly believe, is a time of discernment – trying to figure out what it’s all about and how we can leave our mark on the world in a positive way. By this time you realize it’s not all about us. It’s not just about being personally fulfilled, it’s about what we do for others. It’s about leaving our little piece of the universe better than we found it.

And a big part of this is helping to steer our children into the next phase of their lives—college and careers. I think it’s really important to help them define their “Why,” meaning what is it that they want to do and why do they want to do it? Hopefully, examining this question early will eventually land them where they can bloom.

Now, let me be clear, I’m not one of those people who believes 17-year-olds should have everything mapped out, that’s way too much pressure. And it actually annoys me when college applications expect kids to be so focused on their future careers – the reality is that some are, and some aren’t. Plus, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, people just starting out in the workforce today will have at least 12 jobs in their adult life. I’ve had exactly three jobs in my chosen career, so this is a big change from my generation.

But I do think it’s important to start our children early thinking about what really drives them and what their passions are. Not just pushing them to do something because it looks good on a resume. Let me also say here that I understand not everyone has the luxury to make these choices. Sometimes, we just have to work to pay the bills. But it’s still valuable  to know what really makes us tick, what engages us, and what excites us about getting up in the morning and going to work.

So, how do we help them find the ”Why”? I think a big part of it is talking about what areas interest them and what their priorities are. And then it behooves us to dig deeper—to help them figure out what ignites them, what lights their spark.

A lot of this will be trial and error. But in many ways, it is in our DNA from the beginning. Sometimes we just need help finding it. And with a little bit of guidance, if our children are lucky, they will someday have a job where they will say I can’t believe I get paid to do this ...