Alzheimer's: Keeping connection though the kitchen

Her last two years living at home, Mom was no longer able to wash dishes, lost the hand-eye coordination to put sprinkles on cookies, but loved to roll balls of dough in her hands. I pulled recipes I had, reached out to friends and surfed the internet for cookie recipes that required that step. We had a ball (no pun intended). Alicia would pinch of the right amount of dough and hand to Mom to help roll.

Fast forward to Mom’s first birthday in Memory Care. I coordinated with the activities staff, and they reserved a room with a counter and sink for us. My daughter created a special playlist of oldies, songs she and Mom love, on her phone. (Mom had introduced her to the Beach Boys and Dad, Motown Classics, long ago.)

We took the cake layers and pudding and ingredients for whipped cream in a cooler, along with my hand mixer, birthday plates and plastic utensils. Mom loved watching as Alicia assembled the cake, all of us singing along to oldies together. She loved using the mixer to make the whipped cream, with my help. And we all loved eating our masterpiece together.

For our kitchen endeavors, I always have multiple options to adapt our plan. I take care to prepare my daughter (and myself) beforehand: “This is what I thought we’d try, but the most important thing is to enjoy being with Nana and that can happen even if we have to ditch the cake and just eat Hershey bars together.”

This simple sharing over a mixer and a baking sheet have kept us bonded.