6 reasons why you need to talk about Netflix's '13 Reasons Why,' suicide with your tweens, teens

By all accounts, the first season of Netflix series "13 Reasons Why" was a hit. And now fans are eagerly waiting the second installment of the show, which documented the reasons why a fictional high school girl killed herself. It will be released Friday.

Though it's rated for mature audiences, the show captured the attentions of countless tweens and teens. Without their parents ever knowing, some binge watched the first season multiple times on their tablets and smartphones and helped turn it into the most tweeted show of 2017.

Fans of the show say the series, based on a young adult novel by Jay Asher, accurately portrays the ups and downs of high school and raises awareness about teen suicide and sexual assault.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 14 percent of high school students seriously consider suicide each year, 11 percent have a suicide plan and 6 percent attempt suicide. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for teens ages 15 to 19, between accidents and homicides, according to the CDC.

Critics also raised concerns that the show provided few resources for struggling teens who might need to reach out after watching an episode; didn't focus enough attention on the fact that treatable mental illnesses are common among those who attempt suicide; didn't emphasize that there is help and hope out there for teens who need it; and played into a common myth among teens that suicide is a solution to their problems.

"That's the silver lining to this," said Falbo-Woodson, who is based in Charlotte and watched the first season with her own son. "While the first season wasn't exactly the way we would have wanted it to go out, the silver lining is it's putting the issue on the table so that we can have informed conversations with other parents and with our teenagers. That is a good thing." 

Still, Falbo-Woodson said that if tweens and teens want to watch the show, parents need to watch it and have conversations about it with them. And only those in a solid state of mental health should watch the show, Falbo-Woodson and the foundation advise.

"If your child is currently struggling or has had any level of suicidal thoughts or attempts, we recommend not watching the show," the foundation warns. "People who have experienced a sexual assault may also be triggered by some of the scenes."

I checked in with Falbo-Woodson to get the reasons why, so to speak, we should make sure that if our tweens and teens are watching the show, we should be sitting right next to them. Here's what she shared with me.

Our focus often is on physical health, but not mental health. Research tells us we're doing it wrong.

"Research is finding out more and more that mental health is just as important and sometimes more important than our physical health," Falbo-Woodson said. "It's driving our physical health. How we feel emotionally and psychologically impacts our physical status."

Watching the show together can prompt important talks about mental health awareness, highlighting a topic that for too long has been stigmatized.

It also can ensure that teens are getting the right information.

"Kids are dealing with it - and they are learning from their peers," she said. "Adolescence is the age when they turn from their families. And this is a healthy part of adolescence. They are becoming more peer related in so many ways. They are learning from each other. We want to have those conversations with our teenagers so they are sharing the right information with each other."

"That's the biggest myth out there," she said.

The show's creators have promised to include more resources in the second season for viewers who might need somebody to talk to after watching an episode. It's not clear exactly how those promises will play out in the new season. But, Falbo-Woodson said season one doesn't do enough to highlight ways people can get help.

"There was a lot of controversy last season and, about mid-way through, in some of the shows, the suicide prevention hotline was incorporated at the very end," she said. "That wasn't enough for AFSP. We really wanted it before and after each episode."

Falbo-Woodson acknowledges that the show isn't intended as a mental health education workshop.

"This is entertainment," she said. "... But there's opportunity for it to be both."

Watching the show with your kids will offer opportunities to talk about the resources that are out there to help people who may be considering suicide.

Know the numbers, which are, frankly, startling. About 14 percent of high school students seriously consider suicide each year, 11 percent have a suicide plan and 6 percent attempt suicide, according to the CDC. It's possible your own child is among them.

"Parents know their kids," she said. "Trust your instincts. You don't need a professional to tell you something is wrong with your kids."

Warning signs that a teen may be contemplating suicide include any changes in behavior, mood, behavior, sleep and relationships.

"Some are very obvious," she said. "Some are a little less obvious. They may be in a relationship with a boyfriend or friend, and it's a harmful relationship for them. Always have that open door policy as much as you can."

"Put it on the table. I've noticed some things, and I'm concerned about you," she said.

Be specific, she said. Note if you've seen them sleeping too much or withdrawing from friends. Tell them that if they don't feel comfortable talking to you, encourage them to reach out to a coach, another teacher or the school counselor.

Tell them, said Falbo-Woodson, "If you can't come to me, find someone else you can go to and talk to."

Research shows suicide can be, in some ways, contagious, especially among teens who are dealing with depression and other mental health issues.

"Then they see this type of show, unregulated without some kind of supervision, and they think, 'If that person can do it, I wonder if I can do it,'" Falbo-Woodson said.

"It's not just kids," she said. "I've had some adults tell me their suicide plan and then they will say, 'I saw it on TV. I read about it in a magazine.' Safe messaging is part of the package deal when we're talking about suicide. We want it to be safe. We don't need to give details about how a person died by suicide in a public space."

Why might teens be more prone to suicide contagions? Teens' brains are yet fully formed. Anybody who has been around a teen knows that they often are struggling to manage their emotions, Falbo-Woodson said. They can act rashly.

"Kids don't have the historical background of, 'I did this before,' or, 'This worked when I was sad that time.' This is the first time they are experiencing it," she said. "That's that impulsivity piece that we can't discount."

Watching the show together, said Falbo-Woodson, can trigger any number of discussions - including conversations about a friend, teacher or family member who might be struggling.

Bottom line, said Falbo-Woodson, "We want to make sure they have the right information."