What a couple of weeks for Goodnights Comedy Club! Raleigh’s best place to see stand-up comedy, and in my opinion, one of the best clubs in the country, had Nate Bargatze as its headliner last weekend. My love of Bargatze’s comedy was made pretty clear in this interview, and audiences seemed to agree, as Bargatze’s shows at Goodnights were sold out or nearly sold out.

This week, another master of his comedy craft, Robert Kelly, comes to town. I’m speaking from personal experience when I say that seeing Kelly live is like few other stand-up experiences. He delivers jokes at such a rapid speed, audience members are barely left with time to breathe in between punchlines. It’s an incredible thing to witness and a decent cardiovascular workout too.

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During a Wednesday morning phone interview, Kelly and I discussed a different type of workout — walking from his hotel to the comedy club — as well as how he writes jokes now compared to early in his career, getting sober at 15 years old, why he loves Goodnights and more.

Enjoy the interview, follow Kelly on Twitter and don’t forget The Best Tweet I Can Find in Five Minutes at the end.

Tony Castleberry: Has your process for writing jokes changed over the years?

Robert Kelly: It has. I used to just do it all on stage. Never wrote anything down. The guys I came up with — Patrice (O’Neal), (Bill) Burr, Dane Cook — all these funny people, they were always the funniest people in any room they were in, whether they were on stage or not. I was able to keep up, but that wasn’t sustainable long term and it’s the same with joke writing. I’ll still go on stage and just talk about something funny that happened to me, but now I’ll write tags for that thing.

I swear, in all the time I spent with Patrice, I never once saw him with a notebook or even a pen or a pencil. I never used any of that either until later in my career.

TC: You got sober at 15. How long had you been drinking/using before deciding to quit? That seems awfully young to have substance abuse problem.

RK: You’re not from Boston, are you?

TC: [laughs] No, I am not.

RK: I started drinking when I was 10. I didn’t like it.

I didn’t enjoy drinking or fighting or robbing or any of the stuff I was doing then. It was just a way for me to keep these friends that I had. It was a way to stay close to them and it wasn’t long before I was addicted.

TC: That’s a two-part addiction. You’re addicted to these people and the substance that you think is keeping you connected to them.

RK: Yeah, and then finally, when somebody told me I had a choice, I made a clean slate. I gave up the drinking and drugs and that group of people all at the same time.

TC: Impressive.

I’ve heard horror stories from comics, like you, who’ve been in the game for a while about not getting paid on time or clubs where hecklers run wild and stuff like that. Have you seen overall improvement in the way comedy clubs are operated?

RK: I think so. Look, good clubs make money and they’re good because of the kind of comic they get and they get that type of comic because the crowds are good. They understand comedy and they’re not there to try to be part of the show.

Clubs that do it right aren’t bringing in a s***** comic who’s gonna ask (a crowd member), “Where’d you get that shirt?” and get the audience involved and then it’s a free for all. Good clubs don’t have that. You’re not gonna hear somebody in the audience talking at the Comedy Cellar. Maybe one time, but if that person yells out again, they’re gone.

I wish more clubs would do away with the check spot (when servers bring food and drink bills to tables while the comedian is still on stage).

There’s no check spot at the Comedy Cellar. I was at a club on Saturday and 45 minutes into my hour set, it’s going great. The crowd is great. They’re into it and then they start bringing the checks. I lost (the audience). They checked out of the joke I was telling because now they have to do a math problem at their table. It can wait until the end of the show. Nobody’s gonna run out on their check and if they try, set up something to keep that from happening. It can’t be that hard to do.

TC: I saw you tweet about what a blast you had the last time you were in Raleigh. What stands out about that weekend?

Love this club. Had a blast last time I was there. https://t.co/74GfRqkKHA

— Robert Kelly (@robertkelly)

May 14, 2018

RK: What’s the name of the club? [interviewer laughs] You hear rumblings about certain clubs and I had heard about Goodnights for a while. I decided I wanted to give it a shot and I loved it. The crowds were really good and the staff there was great. I don’t need much. Just give me a water and a hotel close to the club. They told me the club was walking distance from my hotel, but I’m a little chubby so I took an Uber. It was literally one or two blocks too far. The people who said it was within walking distance, I told them, “For you, it’s walking distance. I’m gonna Uber.”

Here it is, The Best Tweet I Can Find in Five Minutes:

Some people are hearing Yanny and some are heading Laurel, but if you listen hard enough you’ll hear that Flint still doesn’t have clean water.

— Nicole Aimée Schreiber (@nicoleaimee)

May 16, 2018