'Always at the Carlyle' (where such celebs as George Clooney go) is out of touch

One of the most lovey-dovey movies about a hotel ever made, the beautifully filmed but out-of-touch documentary ``Always at the Carlyle'' takes a potentially juicy subject -- a swanky landmark that caters to celebrities and zillionaires -- and turns it into a 90-minute infomercial, with nary a revelation in sight.

The Manhattan hotel prides itself on discretion, and the staff of bellhops, cooks, receptionists -- it seems as though every worker is interviewed -- reminds us constantly that they're not going to tell us anything, except perhaps how they press the linens. Instead, we hear only of the hotel's storied tradition, and how wonderful all the mega-wealthy guests are, despite occasional undercurrents that if these walls could talk, we might be scandalized.

Plenty of celebrities, including George Clooney, Anthony Bourdain, Jeff Goldblum and Lenny Kravitz, offer testimonials about their luxurious treatment there, but they might as well be on an episode of ``Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.'' The rest of us are the riffraff who will never quite understand the genteel elegance of the place.

Once in a while, the film breaks out of its refined trance, when it takes us to the days of Bobby Short, who held court in the hotel's cabaret room and whose rendition of ``I'm in Love Again'' was made famous in Woody Allen's ``Hannah and Her Sisters.'' It's a nice bit of nostalgia. Alan Cumming also injects some welcome life into the proceedings, with a hilarious tale about his nude antics outside the hotel.

But stories like this are in short supply here. What happens at the Carlyle stays at the Carlyle -- and any non-jet-setters might as well be kicked to the curb.

David Lewis is a Bay Area freelance writer.

Always at the Carlyle

2 stars out of 4 stars Documentary. Starring George Clooney, Anthony Bourdain, Elaine Stritch. Directed by Matthew Miele. (PG-13, 92 minutes.)