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You need to ask yourself these 13 questions before you marry the wrong person

Posted July 12

Being engaged and planning a wedding is such a fun experience. But with all the excitement and festivities, it’s easy to forget not think about what you’re actually doing.

You’re committing your life to someone else. You’re vowing to love them forever, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. The idea is a little scary, but it should fill you with excitement and happiness ... not dread.

You might answer these questions and realize your sweetheart couldn’t be more perfect for you. It’s totally normal to feel nervous before your big day, but if you’re having major doubts, it’s not too late to ask yourself if this is the person you really want to spend the rest of your life with.

Here are 13 questions you should ask yourself before you marry the wrong person:

1. How do I feel when I think about growing old with him?

When you’re getting married, you should be filled with excitement and joy when you think about spending a life with your sweetheart. If you have feelings of regret and you feel more trapped than happy, you might want to rethink things.

2. Do my friends and family have serious concerns?

It’s completely normal for your family and friends to be protective of you. They love you and want you to have nothing but the very best. Regardless of your circumstances, they’ll probably be a little skeptical of your relationship at the beginning.

But if your closest friends and family members are consistently sitting you down and making sure you love him and know what you’re getting yourself into, they’re not just being a little protective. People on the outside can often see things people on the inside can’t.

3. How does he treat his mom?

You need to take note of how he treats his whole family, but pay attention to how he treats his mom. If he’s constantly rude to her and expecting her to do everything for him, he’s going to do the exact same thing to you once you're married.

4. Do I completely trust him?

Good relationships are based on trust. If you can never trust your significant other, you’ll never develop a completely healthy relationship.

5. Does he look at pornography?

Pornography is detrimental to relationships, and you need to consider whether you’ll be able to handle that in your marriage.

6. Do we want the same things in life?

Maybe you both agree that you want to make a million dollars, but what about other things? Do you agree on where you want to live? Do you agree on whether you’ll have kids or not? These are huge things that impact your life, so you need to be on the same page.

7. Would I be happy if our kids turned out just like him?

In any healthy relationship, you would be thrilled if your child turned out like your sweetheart because he’s such a wonderful person.

If you’re not so excited about your kids turning out just like the man you’re about to marry, is he really the best man for you?

8. Do I know why he loves me?

If you don’t know why your man loves you, ask. If he can’t come up with a response, maybe he’s just in love with the thought of you and the thought of having a wife. You deserve to be completely adored, so don’t settle for any less.

9. Am I staying because I hope he’ll be nice to me like he used to be?

People change, and your love probably doesn’t treat you the exact same as he did when you were first dating. But, he should still be nice to you at the very least. If he’s not nice to you and you’re just holding out hope that he’ll change, he’s probably not going to.

10. Do our conversations come easy?

Think about your most recent conversation with your future husband. Did you enjoy it? Was it easy? Communication is key to a happy marriage, and if you can’t communicate now it will cause even bigger problems in the future.

11. Does he make me feel good about myself?

You deserve to feel amazing about yourself, and your man should play a role in that. He shouldn’t be tearing you down or making you think you’re not awesome.

12. Do I spend more time happy or sad when I’m with him?

This is a huge indicator of whether you’re marrying the right person. If you’re not happy when you’re dating him, you’re not going to be happy married to him.

13. Do I love him or do I just want a wedding?

Some people get so excited about getting engaged and planning a wedding that they forget to care about the person they’re committing to. A wedding isn’t worth a life of misery.

It isn’t easy to think about these things, and you might not like what you discover. However, it’s so important that you’re completely positive you’re marrying the right person, or you might have major regrets later in life.

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