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Why I will never be someone's "other half"

Posted April 16

I hear it all the time, especially with lovey-dovey couples or infatuated men or women who love being in a relationship: "He/She is my other half." I also hear "better half," but whenever I hear it, I don't like it. I don't believe it.

Why would someone make a fuss over something so small? It's a cute phrase, right? So who cares what someone calls somebody they love?

Well, for some reason, I care. I heard a woman talk about this once, and it's stuck with me ever since.

Here are four reasons I don't want someone to call me their other or better half:

1. We are not broken pieces

There are best friend necklaces that are split in half, and those always seemed so cute to me. But when I thought more about it, I realized I didn't want to be separated in half. Your spouse isn't broken or cracked, and neither are you.

2. We are so much more than half

I used to imagine a couple being split right down the middle whenever they said they were each other's halves. Does that mean he is the perfect match for you; does he love chocolate, and do you love vanilla? Maybe he dislikes pickles, and you love them. But that's not true either—you both are complete people, loving each other completely.

3. We don't think or act the same

You and your spouse or significant other are individualistic. He may enjoy football, and you like tennis. You don't always line up perfectly, like the two halves of a friendship necklace. In fact, you may be opposites or have different opinions about some parts of life. That's the beautiful part about each relationship—it's not two mirror images or people placed side by side.

4. I am a whole person

I am not someone's half—I am a whole person, with whole feelings and whole talents and whole emotions. I won't reduce myself to being half of anybody, because I'm unique. Once you see yourself as a beautiful individual, you won't have to struggle to find love. You'll be able to have alone time with yourself and be OK with it.

I used to sit alone at home on the weekends and be sad about it. I was sad because I didn't have a man to take me on a date. I wasn't in a relationship, so I thought I was only half a person. Once I saw myself as a whole, complete person, I was able to live a freer, more beautiful life. I didn't want to wait on finding a man anymore. I could do all the fun things I've always wanted to, even by myself, because I was learning to love myself.

Love is not about two broken, lost people coming together to create one relationship. Love is about two different, thriving lifestyles, full of talents, skills, and interests coming together to create an even better whole. You are a whole person. Your spouse is a whole person. Yes, saying "better half" is cute, but it's not true. You're not half of anyone, because no one can be like you.

This may seem silly to talk about, but it's something we hear a lot. Have you ever stopped to think about what the phrase really means?

Jenna Koford is on the content team at FamilyShare. She graduated with a degree in Communications—Journalism and a minor in editing. Jenna has written and edited for magazines, newspapers, and digital media.

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