When someone you love won't change, remember these 4 things

Posted August 9

It doesn’t matter if this is your mother, husband, brother, child or just a friend. When you are not sure what to do, remember these 4 things. (Deseret Photo)

One of the hardest things to watch is when someone you love makes a mistake. I am not talking about one small mistake, but enough to change who they are. You want desperately to fix the mistakes for them, but know they need to conquer it for themselves in order to learn and grow.

What is most difficult to watch is them deny your help. This leaves you wondering what you can possibly do to help them.

It doesn’t matter if this is your mother, husband, brother, child or just a friend. When you are not sure what to do next, remember these 4 things:

1. They are one of God’s children

God does not make mistakes. When he made you, he didn’t make a mistake and he didn’t when he created the one you love. At times it may be hard to stay patient and keep having faith that one-day they will change, but don’t give up on them because it’s hard for you. Imagine how hard it is for them.

If you are thinking about leaving them, ending the friendship, or taking a long break from them, just think about what God would do. Would he leave his friend to suffer alone?

2. God knows them better than you

God knows they are struggling and he is doing what he thinks is best for them. Once you are able to accept that fact, then he can use you as a tool to help them change for the good.

Remembering God’s role in his or her life just as he is prevalent in yours will help you understand that everyone’s relationship with God is unique. It may also allow you to see that your path is different than theirs.

Ultimately, if God loves them and all of their imperfections, so can you.

3. No one is as strong as God

The best thing you can do for someone who is struggling is to pray for him or her. If you have tried to talk to them and they rejected you, it is even more important to pray to God to soften their heart then try again. Denying the help from others is an unconscious call for help.

4. You aren’t perfect either

I am not suggesting that you think you are perfect and need to help everyone become like you. But while you have been distracted helping others try to perfect themselves, you may be forgetting to take time to perfect yourself as well.

Focusing on others all of the time and neglecting your own problems is going to put you in the exact spot your love one is in soon, which is not your goal. Be sure not to forget to take care of yourself.

They do not necessarily have to believe in God to feel his power affect their lives. No, they may not recognize who influenced the change in them or how it all happened. But you do.

What a great way to share the light you have in a different way. Acknowledging God and allowing him to do his work and be the answer is one of the best things you can do for a struggling loved one.

Tana is a student with a passion for words. She believes that written words can touch people in ways unimaginable. In her spare time she enjoys singing, hiking, cuddling in a fuzzy blanket, and spending time with her friends and family.


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