What your birth order says about who you should marry
Posted December 11, 2016
I am the youngest child in my family and I can't tell you how many times people have told me,“Wow. You are the typical youngest child.” We all know that birth order affects who we are and family dynamics, but have you thought about how it affects your romantic relationships? While people and personalities aren't totally determined by birth order, it can influence who you pair best with in marriage.
Are you the oldest child?
First born children can usually be characterized as bossy, confident and motivated perfectionists. Oldest children tend to be dominant in a relationship, and for good reason; they know what they want, they get what they want, and youngest and middle children are usually fine letting them take the lead. After all, don't opposites attract? The oldest child in a family would balance out a spouse who is the youngest child in their family.
Two partners who are both the oldest children in their families usually don't do too well together. It can work with a lot of love, determination and compromise, but both are used to taking charge and getting what they want, so they will butt heads...often. First borns can be a good match with a middle child partner, with some compromise. Because of the middle child's need to satisfy and compromise, the oldest child spouse will need to mindful to not take control all the time and walk all over their spouse.
Are you the middle child?
Middle children tend to be agreeable, diplomatic and loyal peacemakers. Middle children are good at compromise (they have had to learn to be) and usually end up with someone most like them, but can really pair well with anyone. Middle children tend to be more satisfied with marriage in general, but they seem to pair best with spouses who are the youngest in their family.
Similar to two people marrying who are the oldest child in their respective families, two middle children marriages has its problems. Because middle children like to keep the peace, problems are more likely to just be suffered in silence rather than argued about.
Are you the youngest child?
Youngest children are generally more carefree, spoiled and easy-going risk takers. Youngest children are usually less responsible than their older siblings and are used to being taken care of, so youngest children should avoid being with a partner who is also the youngest child. Two partners in this same birth order would have a blast together, but could lack responsibility...which could turn into debt and dysfunction. Unless you both are willing to have fun and take on necessary (but boring) responsibilities, marry someone who isn't the youngest child.
Youngest children need someone who balances them out, but they are fun and spontaneous so they usually do well with anyone. Oldest, middle and only children all seem to pair best with partner who is the youngest child in their family.
Are you an only child?
Only children are creative, confident and self-entertaining little adults. Only children basically have all the same qualities as an oldest child, but more intense. It isn't surprising that children with no siblings do best with a partner who is the last born in their family. Middles are also accustomed to the bossy behavior of an older sibling and the attention-seeking of the youngest child, so they understand only children and are able to compromise accordingly.
Keep in mind we are all individuals and while some birth order pairings naturally work better, two people dedicated to loving each other can make anything work. Do you and your partner fall into one of these ideal pairings?
Kelsey is a student at Brigham Young University studying to broaden her horizons through the written word. She loves the outdoors, family, car washes and punny witticisms.