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Wake minister broaches issue of gay children in blog

Posted October 2, 2014

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— A Wake County minister has drawn international attention for a recent blogpost in which he promises to accept his children and love them unconditionally if they tell him they're gay.

John Pavlovitz, a former staff pastor of a large Methodist church in Charlotte who now volunteers at North Raleigh Community Church, writes a blog about his faith called "Stuff That Needs To Be Said."

Two weeks ago, the father of 8-year-old Noah and 4-year-old Selah, wrote a post entitled "If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Parent."

"It was what I felt compelled to say. So, it was a risk, but it was a risk I was absolutely willing to take," Pavlovitz said this week.

The four promises were to let everyone know if he has a gay child, to pray that they can withstand any criticism they receive because of their homosexuality, to have "extravagant, open-hearted, unapologetic, lavish, embarrassing-them-in-the-school cafeteria" love for them and to recognize that they are gay because that's the way God made them.

"I want my kids to know there’s no deal-breaker for me as a dad," he said.

Pavlovitz calls the post more a love letter than a thesis to provoke a theological debate, but it has engendered debate and thousands of comments.

"From people feeling you’re a sinner going to hell to you’re really representing Jesus exactly the way we think Jesus should be represented,” he said.

"I think churches have been woefully unprepared to talk about sexuality, and I think we’ve done one of two things. We’ve either screamed at people or ignored them," he said. "Whether you think homosexuality is a sin or not or wherever you find yourself theologically, I think it’s about, basically, about human decency – how are we treating people?"

Pavlovitz said he has talked with so many gay Christians who say they want to be part of the church but feel abandoned.

"I'd rather have someone come to know Christ and let Him work in their lives rather than push them away from the church by using a couple of (Bible) verses against them or make them feel horrible about themselves,” he said.

Once people start to think about how they will react if they have gay children, he said, they have to figure out "what does love look like."

"By and large, what I'm saying (in my post) is that my children will be loved by me, and my love is not going to change depending on who they are and who they are not," he said.

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  • jackaroe123 Oct 3, 2014

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    Your stance comes from the assumption that gay sex is something heterosexual people do when they lose control of themselves. That stance is dying fast, even within Christianity. It's falling by the wayside so fast I don't even need to waste time arguing it with you (though some days I will).

  • Jason Conaway Oct 3, 2014
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    Thats right! You have a choice. Having Christ as your savior doesnt make you weak, it makes you stronger. Without that book, you wouldnt be here!

  • Red Sox Nation Oct 3, 2014

    Imagine how great this country would be if we actually practiced freedom of religion. Just because people are so weak that they need to rely on a book to guide them through life, doesn't mean that we have to live our lives the same.

  • disgusted2010 Oct 3, 2014

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    You speak the truth. Much as many liberals do, they can't just have their beliefs and go about their business. They have to put it front and center and then try to push their beliefs on others who either dont believe the way they do or just don't care.

    The chip on the shoulder comment has hit it on the head.

    I am not prejudicd against anyone, but I do tire of reading about people who cry discrimination daily when if they would just go about their business no one would know or care about their "special" condition, what ever it may be.

  • KnowsItAll Oct 3, 2014

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    "The vast majority of antipathy toward gay people in this country is imagined. They walk around with a chip of their shoulder, constantly looking for a fight."

    No. The existence of Amendment 1 clearly proves you to be dead wrong.

    Gays are simply trying to live without interference from the Christian morality police who make antigay discrimination one of the central tenets of what they mistakenly label as their "faith".

  • Rachael Garner Oct 3, 2014
    user avatar

    Sounds like a great guy. I would totally attend his church.

  • ncprr1 Oct 3, 2014

    The vast majority of antipathy toward gay people in this country is imagined. They walk around with a chip of their shoulder, constantly looking for a fight.
    The minister is a perv for even considering his 4 and 6 year old children in a sexual way.

  • KnowsItAll Oct 3, 2014

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    "All we can do is pray for these people!"

    No, you can also back it up with discriminatory legislation like Amendment 1 - and why, pray tell, does Amendment 1 not include heterosexual adulterers (I noticed you left that off your list of sinners below...)? if you decide to ditch your wife for one of those other women you find attractive, you can still remarry. Over and over and over ad infinitum (see Newt Gingrich as an example). If the sanctity of marriage is SOOOOO sooooo very important, why aren't heterosexual adulterers treated like gays when it comes to marriage??? Your god was clear on his opinion of adultery (even put it in the 10 commandments - which says nothing about homosexuality, so it wasn't in the Big 10 in his/her opinion) - but there are no civil penalties for adultery.

    Why?

    Could it be anti-gay bias?

  • Lightfoot3 Oct 3, 2014

    "We are seeing more and more churches turning to worldly ways" - jasonconaway6969


    Exactly! That opossum grinning Joel Olsteen is a perfect example of how churches have been turned from places of worship into secular businesses. They pass the collection plate while saying God is good, be happy, but don't to address the price of sin. The first time I heard this Olsteen character, he was talking about praying for a better table at a restaurant, or better parking spot at the mall, or better interest rate on a loan. And his clueless listeners eat it up. TRULY living a CHRISTIAN life is not all candy canes and lollipops. Many, many will talk the talk, but rarely do you find one that walks the walk.

  • Danny22 Oct 3, 2014

    This minister is absolutely right about the love part. We are to love everyone. BUT the Bible in many places is plain about gay sex being a sin. Love the person but don't condone the gay sex. Jasonconawy is absolutely correct-Excellent point about self control.

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