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This isn't a fairytale and Prince Charming isn't your knight in shining armor

Posted October 5

If you’re like me, you’ve dreamed of having your fairytale wedding and riding off into the sunset with your Prince Charming. He is your soulmate, your one and only, and he could never do wrong.

The problem is, how do you find him?

The short answer: You don’t.

Prince Charming is an idealistic man who, in the words of the character from "Into the Woods," “was raised to be charming, not sincere.” If you are aspiring to marry a man who is perfect and charming, then you’ll be gravely disappointed to find no such man exists.

In fact, if you set your sights on Prince Charming, you will never see the prince in disguise standing right in front of you. Here are three lies about Prince Charming to help you see the real man you’ve been searching for.

1. Prince Charming isn’t your knight in shining armor

This Prince Charming persona has led us girls to set unrealistic expectations of our future husband. Society tells us the perfect man is tall, strong, beautiful and will risk his life for his damsel in distress. So we wait for someone perfect, tall, strong and beautiful to rescue us from our tower and carry us away to our happily ever after.

Stop waiting. You are a strong woman who is perfectly capable of rescuing herself. Prince Charming doesn’t need to come rescue you from your tower - you can rise to the challenge and free yourself.

Besides, your knight in shining armor may not be all he sets himself up to be. If you strip away the armor, his fake hair, his fake eyes and fake smile, all of the pomp and circumstance that makeup Prince Charming, you’ll find he’s a shallow man who only cares about you superficially and wouldn’t make it one day in the real world.

2. Prince Charming isn’t perfect

If you are looking for Prince Charming, then he is looking for a perfect princess. But you aren’t perfect. Neither is he, nor anyone else in this world. Accepting that you will never be perfect and you will never find someone who is perfect is the first step to finding your true “Prince Charming.”

Men have flaws, just as you have flaws. The beauty of falling in love is you will look past all of those flaws and see the true beauty of someone’s soul.

You are looking for someone who is flawed, who has overcome the tests and challenges life has thrown at him thus far. A man (or woman) who has made mistakes is a human being. Prince Charming is not. You don’t fall in love with someone for their outward features alone. Beauty isn’t what defines you - it’s what’s inside that counts. This is what makes us different and unique from everyone else.

Prince Charming would never be able to see or understand who you are or where you come from because he’s perfect and has never done wrong. Someone who is flawed is able to relate to you on a personal level and accept you for who you are, not the perfect person you will never be.

3. Prince Charming won’t make you happy

Lastly, you don’t need Prince Charming or a man in order to be happy. Only you can do that. Find happiness for yourself. Happiness can be found in the things you like to do, your friends and, most of all, your family. Do what you love. Whether that means your career or your hobbies, make sure you make time to do the things you love to do. Find happiness in your friends by having fun and making crazy memories together. You’ll cherish those moments forever. Most of all, your family will always be there for you. In those dark days and feelings of hopelessness, your family will be there to help lift you up.

In the long and arduous search for the man you will one day call your husband, it’s easy to lose hope that you will ever find him. Dating is difficult and can easily be discouraging, but you will learn from the bad dates and realize the true qualities and attributes you are looking for in a spouse. It may take a long time to find him, but once you do, you will know that he is your true Prince Charming.

Who knows? Perhaps he’s been standing in front of you this whole time.

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