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This husband talked about why he doesn't help his wife, and people actually love his reasons

Posted June 25

When it comes to household chores, every couple is different. A lot of factors contribute to how we divvy them up, including how we were raised, how much we’ve got on our plate, our careers and even our preferences in chores.

"I do not help my wife"

One viral Facebook post titled “I do not help my wife” is spreading like wildfire because of its unexpected, powerful message on partnership in marriage. The husband’s story has a surprising twist you won’t want to miss.

The story starts out about a friend who pays a visit. After a while of sitting and talking, the husband stands up and says he’ll be right back — he just needs to wash the dishes.

“He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket,” the man explained. “Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: ‘I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.’”

Instead of heading to the dishes, the husband sat back down with his friend to teach him a valuable lesson that every married person — male and female — should take to heart.

"I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

"I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

"I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

"I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

"I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children['s].

"I am not a help at home, I am part of the house."

The wise husband goes on to explain that ‘help’ is not what his wife needs; rather, she needs a partner.

How people reacted

Hundreds of thousands of people are celebrating the message of this post — that neither partner in a relationship should have the mindset that they’re doing a grand, praiseworthy deed by mopping the floor (or any other normal household chore). Rather, both men and women should have the mindset that they’re equal partners who share household work just as they share a house.

While every couple’s situation is unique when it comes to each partner’s time and capabilities, it’s important to remember that both spouses are a part of the home and that no one spouse should be solely in charge of chores.

In my own marriage

In my own relationship, my husband and I take on chores as the occasion calls for it. Right now, I commute to a full-time job, so at the moment my husband has taken over the majority of household chores. We usually do deep cleaning together on the weekends and wash dinner dishes together, but other than that, our home’s daily cleanliness and meals are up to him.

Of course, our roles will change around throughout our future years of marriage but I hope we always make sure to be as selfless and open-minded as possible.

Make the change in your own house

Rather than having the mindset that one spouse “helps” the other with housework, have an honest, kind discussion together about sharing the chores together in a way that works best for the whole family.

“The real change of our society begins in our homes,” the author said in his final thoughts. “Let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship!”

McKenna Park is a staff writer at FamilyShare. She's a happy wife, puppy mama, ice cream addict and film nerd. Contact her at mpark@deseretdigital.com.

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