There actually is a way to find out how attractive you are to others, according to science
Posted May 14, 2016
One thing that defines this day and age is how focused people are on how we look.
There are so many products, filters, clothes, videos and more to help us be the most attractive versions of ourselves.
Although we say and hope that striving to look our best is for ourselves and for our own self-worth, we all know that most of the time it is to be attractive to other people.
There are definitely ways we can tell when people are attracted to us, but there are also times when it seems kind of a mystery, and one we definitely want solved.
So what is the best way to know how attractive we are to other people?
It seems a study first published in 2010 and discussed in a new book, Nicholas Epley, a behavioral scientist at the University of Chicago, and Tal Eyal, a psychologist at Israel's Ben-Gurion University, reveals an actual technique to help find out how others perceive your attractiveness.
It actually starts with you
A large part of the study reveals that how others see you actually starts with how you see yourself.
The scientists said that we are the most critical judge of our own looks because we know every little thing about ourselves that are actually completely unobvious to anybody else.
The study found that one of the solutions to understanding how attractive we really are is distancing ourselves from our own self-perceptions, which is easier said than done.
Time is important
It seems that one way to battle how we perceive our own imperfections is to give it a little time; meaning that we seem to be less harsh on ourselves and our attractiveness when we give ourselves a little time to look at ourselves objectively.
In the study, they took pictures of some college students and told them people would judge it that day, and others they told that people would see it in a month. They then asked them to say what the people looking at their photos would say.
The ones who were told that their photos would be viewed in a month were way more accurate about what people would say about their photo than the ones who were told that people would view them later that day.
Don’t just walk in their shoes
The study revealed that another secret to revealing how attractive you are to someone is putting yourself in their shoes, but also going a little more in depth than that.
The scientists in the study said it is important to look at other people’s life circumstance, like the stability of their job, stress, or other important life situations.
When you do this you will more accurately be able to tell how they will perceive you.
The key to being attractive? Get over yourself
Based on the results of the study the scientists found that you can actually accurately gage how attractive people think you are, but you really need to let go of all the imperfections you see in yourself.
"When thinking about what other people are thinking of you, don't sweat the small stuff, because other people aren't," Epley said.
So listen to science and stop focusing on all your imperfections, but rather take an outside approach. Then you can really know how attractive you really are to the world around you.
Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at FamilyShare.com. She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.