The worst movies of 2016
Posted December 31, 2016
MOVIE LAND — 2016 brought us some pretty awesome movies as Dave and John Clyde pointed out in their article Wednesday. Just like any other year, though, it also had some pretty terrible movies.
OK, let's be honest— a lot of terrible movies.
Travis Poppleton and Curtis Linnell broke down what they believed were the worst of the 2016 movies.
Worst movie of 2016
Travis' pick: "Nine Lives"
It’s easy to see why well-meaning, but wildly misguided movies like “Collateral Beauty” get made. Even as you watch them and slowly and painfully get sucked into their good intentions, you can at least recognize a few ingredients that ultimately attracted a talented cast.
But then there are movies like “Nine Lives,” and my almost worst pick, “Bad Grandpa.”
What about a cat-driven “Look Who’s Talking” meets “Freaky Friday” rip-off attracts Academy Award winners like Kevin Spacey and Christopher Walken? Why did “Men in Black” director, Barry Sonnenfeld, say “This! Yes, this talking cat thing is the next project I want to dedicate my time to.” (That’s a fake quote for the record.)
I’ll never know the answer to questions like these, nor will you ever get the 87 minutes of life back should you ever be forced to endure “Nine Lives.”
Curt’s Pick: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shallows"
Luckily, I never saw “Nine Lives.” I like Keven Spacey too much to see him in a role like that. I did, howeve,r see a film that made me cringe like crazy throughout the entire movie from how awful it was— that movie is "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shallows."
So I know the first one was bad, but this one took awful to a whole new level. To me, you have to go out of your way to ruin the Ninja Turtles. There is so much to draw upon from the comics, the cartoons and the older movies. They somehow took every character we love in that universe and ruined them, especially KC Jones, and don’t even get me started on Krang.
I could go on for days about how much I hated this film. Just don’t see it, and if you have, you probably share my pain.
Worst performance of 2016
Travis beat me to the punch with his pick which I agree full-heartedly with, but after watching “London has Fallen,” I found myself a great pick. I knew going into this movie it was going to be a cheesy action flick, just like the one before it. I was not, however, expecting Gerard Butler to take things to new heights with an incredibly bad performance.
Butler is a talented actor and has been in some really good movies, but this is not one of them. As you may know, he is from Scotland and in the past his American accent has been pretty good in movies. However, it seemed so forced in this one, especially when he is yelling or talking loud, that it kind of sounded like Shrek. Add that in with some over-the-top dramatic scenes and you have yourself one of the worst performances of 2016.
"London has Fallen" is rated R for violence and language.
Curtis is correct — Gerard Butler was pretty terrible in “London has Fallen.” He was probably even worse in “Gods of Egypt,” a movie I’m fairly surprised didn’t make an appearance on this worst-of list. But as bad as Butler was in 2016, he couldn’t hold a candle to the ham-stuffed performance that was Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luther.
I imagine when Zack Snyder recruited Eisenberg for the part, he was picturing some play off from Eisenberg's role in “The Social Network.” Instead, both Snyder and the world ended up with a desperately awkward performance so acute, it felt right at home in 2016.
Biggest disappointment of 2016
Travis' pick: "Suicide Squad"
I do feel bad that we’re beating up on DC as much as we are, and for the record, I have every faith that Wonder Woman will finally get this cinematic universe back on track.
With that said, “Suicide Squad” was supposed to be different. It wasn’t supposed to be about superpowers and spinning sky vortexes. No, it was supposed to be about desperate criminals in a desperate situation pulling off an impossible heist or rescue mission. Instead, “Suicide Squad” looked more like a hokey video game where the level boss was a hula-hooping witch from the netherworld.
Actually, now that I think about it, a Suicide Squad set in the “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” universe would’ve been phenomenal.
Curt’s pick: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”
Yeah, we are beating up on DC, but maybe they need it— their pocketbooks say otherwise, though. I didn’t dislike “Suicide Squad” as much as Travis did, but I lowered my expectations after the trailer. “Batman v Superman” was the exact opposite. After seeing the trailer, I was beyond excited even though I did not like “Man of Steele” and I am not a Zack Snyder fan. I went in with high hopes only to have them die along with Superman (allegedly.)
You would think that with the most iconic super heroes of all time battling each other, the movie would be a slam dunk. But no, you have Snyder go and make a mess of the whole thing. I think watching Batman take on Superman in Monopoly would have been just as good. I did, however, like Ben Affleck as Batman and really look forward to his standalone Batman movie coming up.
I also like the trailer for “Wonder Woman” and “Justice League,” but I am also wondering if that is what Snyder is good at — making good trailers, not good movies.
Worst sequel or remake of 2016
Travis' pick: "Alice Through the Looking Glass"
Was "Alice Through the Looking Glass" really the worst sequel or remake in a year of seriously disappointing sequels and remakes? Probably not. But it was, I think, the sequel that squandered the most potential.
When your lead character spends the first part of the story going on-and-on about their loyalty and fondness of a specific character, only to throw said loyalty out the window the moment it’s convenient for the plot— well, she’s either the victim of a lazy author or a character not worth investing in.
Unfortunately for “Alice Through the Looking Glass,” most of its creative decisions can be placed in one of those two boxes, and as a result, a fantastic cast, concept and visual landscape were totally wasted.
Curt’s pick: “Zoolander 2”
Travis and I had a ton of movies to sift through for this category. I already put the Ninja Turtles as my worst film, but this year brought us such bad sequels and remakes such as “Independence Day: Resurgence,” “Ghostbusters,” and “Ben Hur.” The list goes on, but the one I really did not appreciate was “Zoolander 2.”
I am a fan of “Zoolander.” It was a crazy comedy that somehow worked, thanks to an awesome cast. I never really felt it needed a sequel though, kind of like how “Dumb and Dumber” did not need a sequel. Just let the originals stand on their own and don’t taint them with awful sequels.
I almost put Ben Stiller as the worst performance for “Zoolander 2”— it was just bad all the way around. Even with much of the cast being back, and adding stars like Kristin Wiig and Penelope Cruz, it couldn’t help lessen the blow of how painfully unfunny the movie was.
Well there you have it. Hopefully these picks will save you some time and some money from not having to rent them. What are your picks for the worst movies of 2016? Let us know in the comments.
Curtis Linnell is a movie fanatic/critic that use to frequent the movie theaters on a regular basis. Due to a busy schedule and a family, he now just streams them at home. You can follow him on Twitter @curtislinnell.