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The silent but deadly killer of any relationship

Posted July 19

Relationships can take a lot of work. Couples are bound to face their own share of difficulties ... but don't worry, that’s completely normal. Even arguments can be healthy. If you two share an open, honest line of communication, you’ll be able to work through whatever challenges might come your way.

However, there may be something you wouldn't expect would cause your marriage to fail. Finances, different goals in life or even different standards can all create a rocky marital foundation, but underneath even the simplest (and seemingly harmless) problems lies something bigger ...

Silence.

Silence is so much more deadly in a relationship than any argument. When someone is silent, it means they don’t feel the relationship is worth fighting for.

When your partner grows silent, it means they have resorted to having their own internal monologue instead of talking things through with you.

If you two have differences — whether it’s in regards to finances, your future, your standards, etc. — the worst thing you can do is refuse to talk about it. To avoid this relationship killer, follow these steps in your relationship:

1. Don’t avoid the elephant in the room

Sometimes when couples are tired of fighting, they just try to avoid the topic that sparks controversy within their relationship. They tiptoe softly around each other and wouldn't dare to bring up something that could trigger a fight.

However, that is not the best approach. If you ignore the problem, there is no way you will ever come a solution. Instead, realize that you two are allowed to have your differences. You don’t have to come to an agreement or compromise every single time you argue. But you should respect each other and try to understand your sweetheart’s perspective before you shut down and refuse to talk.

2. Pick what’s worth fighting for

Every single thing you two disagree about isn't worth an argument. Sometimes you might feel like it’s best to just let bygones be bygones and move on with your life. If you two really respect each other, you two can “agree to disagree.”

But if this disagreement is something that’s getting in the way of you two having a healthy, happy relationship, it should be addressed.

You should be comfortable enough with your partner to open up with them and show them your vulnerable side. If they have done something that has hurt or upset you, vocalize it (as lovingly as possible).

A relationship is all about taking care of each other, but your darling can’t take care of you if you don’t open up and let them in.

3. Don’t let this consume you

When you and your love are facing a challenge, it’s easy to let it completely take over your relationship. But it doesn’t have to be like that. You can still go on dates with each other, get to know each other and continue to fall even deeper and deeper in love.

If you focus on strengthening other aspects of your relationship, it will make the two of you stronger against the forces that seem to be pulling you apart. It will help you recognize that your relationship is worth fighting for, not going silent for.

Any problem can be worked through if both partners in a relationship are willing to fight and work for what matters most. Don't let silence lull you into a false sense of security — decide now to fight for your marriage, compromise and always discuss solutions instead of staying quiet.

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