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The real reason mothers-in-law don't like their daughters-in-law

Posted June 7

Your relationship is going well and your boyfriend insists that you meet his mother. You immediately feel uncomfortable and anxious, wondering whether she'll like you.

If she does, you know you’ve lucked out. If not, you may have some things to work through.

Arguments with members of your husband's family are difficult to deal with, especially with your mother-in-law. This not only harms your relationship with her, but also disrupts the whole family. As much as your husband loves you, it’s difficult for him to see the two most important women in his life bickering and disrespecting each other. Even if it’s just for the sake of your husband, try to love his mother.

While there are many things in-laws disagree on, there’s one underlying reason mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law clash:

Fear

Yes, fear is the great author of the tension between you and your mother-in-law.

Her biggest fear is losing her son - losing the admiration he has given her for so long to his new girlfriend or wife.

It’s not always true that you’re trying to “steal” her son from her; but validating her fears won’t do any good.

According to Psychology Today, it's important to realize that you may not always get along, but you are part of the same family. So don't picture each other as rivals fighting over someone, but rather as family members.

The best way to try and strengthen a relationship with your mother-in-law is to make sure she doesn’t feel like she’s losing her son to you.

Thank her for how wonderful she is. Compliment her qualities as a mother. This helps soften her heart and helps eliminate feelings of fear or jealousy.

Treating your husband with love and kindness are also other ways to win her over. Try to offer your best to her son and soon she will realize how valuable you are - and she’ll realize that her son made the best choice in a wife.

And remember, today you’re a daughter-in-law, but someday you could be a mother-in-law, too.

Roberta Preto, 33. Graduated as translator and interpreter, writer, mother. In love for life, in a eternal search for knowledge. Hope that my words can be the light in the people's life. I dream to guide humanity to be free from slavery of ignoranc

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