The one threat to your marriage that will silently destroy it
Posted January 2
They were screaming and practically at each other's throats. Both of them were full of anger and resentment. My parents had hardly seen each other in the last few months. I was young at the time, but I knew something was not right between them. It was obvious.
I never thought they would want a divorce over something so small. I never even thought that people could break up over such petty problems. But it is true, spouses do get divorced, in fact they separate often because they never make the marriage their first priority.
I always thought that it came naturally, but as I discovered when I was a young girl, it doesn't. Many relationships become barricaded with other obstacles in life, and those other priorities block the true necessity of marriage being the most important.
Putting your work, education, hobbies or any other interests above a relationship, and you're bound to see it fail. Naturally, you will want a person who supports you in your passions, but never will you find a spouse who will want you to put your collection of vinyl album records above them.
Remember that any relationship, especially a marriage, requires work and patience in order for it to function and thrive. Yes, your career is important but that does not mean you should always ask for overtime so that you can have more money. Some situations are understandable, but if you are asking for more hours when you are financially stable, especially when you could be on a date with your spouse, then you are asking for trouble.
There is a buddhist proverb about marriage that says, "If you love a flower you do not pluck it, if you love it you water it daily.” Marriage is this flower. You tend to it as best you can because you love it. You do not neglect, abandon or ignore the beauty and love this flower provides you with.
Just like watering the flower, you need to “water” you relationship. Put forth the effort youe spouse deserves. Go on dates, talk about your emotions, cook for one other, play a random game, buy your spouse a random present, send each other a cheesy text message and ultimately, put them before anything else. That is exactly what my parents did, and by doing so, they learned to make their marriage top priority and rekindled their love for each other.
No, you won’t divorce over something so little as fighting once over why it took your partner so long to get home from work, but if you continue sitting back and not taking responsibility foryour actions, then those small problems can begin to affect and damage your marriage.
Make your spouse and marriage your number one priority. You are both an equal unit, and both of you must put in 100 percent to keep your marriage strong and lasting.