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The one thing they don't tell you when you get married young

Posted June 28

Of all the things you were told about getting married young, no one has mentioned this before. (Deseret Photo)

Why is getting married young a dirty and unwelcoming topic of discussion? Bringing up the topic of marriage vows between young twenty-year-olds invokes scoffs, laughs and incredulous beliefs of sincerity and reality.

When a young couple publicly informs their intent to wed, adults are quick to offer tips of advice, wise words of wisdom and even bold warnings in hopes to lure you away from the decision or help you grasp the magnitude of your choice. They offer words to help tackle anticipated fights and negative events. They prepare you for the worst and almost scare you at the thought of what’s to come.

One thing people fail to mention through the wake of negative discussion is that together as you experience trying times you will grow and mature into a strong team unit.

They don’t mention you will grow up together.

Together you will weather new challenges and storms that neither of you have experienced alone. A new and exciting chapter in your life is unfolding and, the best part is, you do not have to face it alone.

Together you will come to learn:

1. Settling down is not settling

Since when did people start viewing marriage as a form of settling? Marriage is a commitment you make to stand behind someone through the good, the bad and the ugly. It is an “all in” kind of ordeal that should not be taken lightly or taken for granted. Being married young is not settling on the first person who showed you interest. Couples who choose to get married young, merely have found the love of their life and are ready for the next step together.

2. You can still do anything you would’ve done single, but with each other

They fail to mention experiencing life events with the person you love makes the experience that much greater and memorable. Visiting the Grand Canyon is breathtaking alone but capturing the magnitude of beauty with your spouse is a memory you will share for a lifetime.

3. It’s expensive

Yes, it is true marriage is and always will be expensive. There is no way to hide that bills compound as the need to pay rent, utilities, insurance and joint phone bills add up together. But it is important to remember, although it is expensive and the budget may be tight, working through the tough times only makes your marriage stronger.

4. More time together

There is a common phrase, “I wish I would have known you sooner, so I could have loved you longer,” that helps illustrate the joy of having more time with the one you love most. Marrying your best friend young only allows you more time to hang out, travel and experience life events together.

5. You will need a lot more than love

Despite what the Beatles will tell you, you need a lot more than love. Love is the sturdy foundation upon which you should build your relationship, but more measures are needed to help maintain your relationship. Together you must actively communicate and serve your partner to foster and deepen your love for one another.

Experiencing the joys and trials of marriage young is not a dirty thought, rather it is an exciting adventure. Instead of taking the time to participate in the cliché “find yourself” phenomenon most people engage in their early twenties, together you are dappling and experimenting with the “finding us” phenomenon. How beautiful it is to grow up together and experience things as one.

Hannah Rose is a story-telling enthusiast that finds joy in sharing insights and human experience. Connecting the world through written verse is a passion that drives her to pursue her journalistic endeavors.

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