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The keys to discovering if he's flirting or just being friendly

Posted March 31

Sometimes it’s hard to decide if the guy you like is flirting with you, or just being friendly. You don’t want to put yourself out there if he is just being a nice guy, but if he is interested...well, that’s a different story.

Here's how you can tell:

Body language

Flirting

When a man is attracted to you, he will often stand up straighter, puff out his chest a bit and look as attractive as possible. He wants you to notice him, and when he has your attention, he'll deflate his chest a little to appear more genuine. He'll also lean toward you when you speak as a way to say "hey, I'm listening". When he hugs you, you will have full body contact instead of just upper body contact.

Friendly

He will do none of the stuff above. He will have a casual posture and won’t try to grab your attention with his body language. He'll lean away or just stay still during a conversation. He might like your company and your conversation but his body language says he thinks of you like a friend.

Social Behavior

Flirting

In a social situation, the guy flirting with you is seeking you out. He'll make you feel special by not paying close attention to other girls. When he isn’t talking to you, he is looking at you. When your eyes meet, a smile flickers on his face and stays for a few seconds. When there are other guys around you, he'll casually stake his claim by standing close to you or touching your arm. He will find any excuse to break the touch barrier.

Friendly

He is just being friendly if he stops to chat with you, but is always looking elsewhere. If you eyes meet across a room, he will flash a smile or nod his head. He has no problem including everyone else in your conversation. He will never break the touch barrier except for maybe a brief hug to say "hello" and "goodbye".

Conversations

Flirting

When a man is flirting with you he might talk in a softer voice, so you have to lean in closer to hear him. He will casually try to find out if you are single, and mention that he too is single. When you say something funny, he will compliment you, not the joke. You will receive a lot of compliments during the conversation, and he will have fun gently teasing you.

Friendly

A friend will talk to you just like he talks to his other friends. He will say your jokes are funny. When he teases you, it will occasionally be hurtful and not sweet in any way. If he doesn’t bring up that he's single, or if he constantly talks about other girls, he isn’t flirting.

It’s important to realize that guys don’t all flirt the same way. If you think he's flirting, watch how he interacts with other people. He could just be a touchy feely guy and you can tell that if he is constantly breaking the touch barrier with people other than yourself.

The difference between flirty and friendly is difficult at times, so trust your gut — it usually knows which one is right. Oh and keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with you flirting with a guy who isn't flirting back, the worst he can do is say he isn't interested.

Stacie Simpson is a journalism student. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.

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