The honest truth about dating a friend
Posted May 23
Dating a friend can be an exciting or scary adventure. But there are some truths you need to know before you take the plunge:
Beginning of the end
The first day of your romance might be the last day of your friendship. The first date, kiss or hint of emotional entanglement with a formerly platonic pal could be the kiss of death to a friendship. You may not be thinking about it now, but starting to get your heart involved with a buddy might full well spell the end of days of even being friends. After all, when it ends – and this goes for any relationship – it rarely ends well. You may get lucky and end up marrying your best friend and living happily ever after. But most aren’t so lucky. So only take things to the next level if you can eventually live with nothing at all.
A decade ago a dear friend of mine lost all of her friends when she and her ex broke up. The sad fact is if you date within your circle of friends you may lose more than one friend in the end; you could lose them all. A group of friends may find it hard not to pick sides when they’ve known one half of the couple longer or feel one person was wronged by the other. Sometimes your friends may have more to lose by shunning your ex and are less invested in you. Whatever the case may be, romance tends to start sweet and end bitter.
When a spark strikes between best buddies it may seem like the beginning of a raging fire. But there’s also a chance the chemistry will simply fizzle out. Whatever kept you two friends for so long could creep back up and make your “hot and heavy” more like “lukewarm.” If you’re searching for a comfortable kind of love, dating a friend may be where it’s at. You don’t have to worry about impressing your partner; they’ve likely seen your worst side. But there’s something to be said for a little mystery and unknown history. The truth is you both may know too much to see stars or feel butterflies for long.
Dream come true
Last but not least, the truth about dating a friend is: it could be exactly what you needed. If you’re done with the superficial flirters, commitment-phobic rolling stones, or creeps who only appreciate your physical features, dating a friend could be just what you need. Are there dangers? Absolutely. But you risk your life every time you step out of the shower or hop in your car. There are far worse things in life than losing a longtime friend- like never experiencing love at all. Maybe he’s not your knight in shining armor, but you’ll never know what could have been if you don’t take the chance. Your special friend who’s been with you through thick and thin might just be the guy who’ll stick it out until death do you part.
All relationships come with risks. You have to ask yourself if the risks of losing the friendship are worth the potential reward of a great love. If your answer is “yes” then go for it. But go in with your eyes just as open as your heart.
Georgia D. Lee is a University of Miami Alumna who seeks to empower, inspire, enrich and educate anyone with an open mind, heart and spirit through her most treasured medium - black and white!