The best marriage advice I received
Posted October 9, 2016
A lot of marriage advice is cheesy, and can sometimes even be outright harmful. This is pretty risky because each relationship is different and may need different advice. Here are 10 pieces of the best counsel that are safe for all relationships:
1. Look for the worst in people
...when you're looking for a spouse. It's easy to handle someone at their best, but you should also see them at their worst. You can always handle someone at their best, but you need to be able to handle them at their worst times—because marriage will bring out the worst in you.
2. Find ways to grow together
Find new hobbies, visit new places, etc. This will keep your relationship from getting boring, and it will help you create amazing memories together.
3. Have "I" arguments
When arguing, always start your sentences with "I"—I feel, I think, etc. This pushes you toward explaining yourself and shifts you away from blaming your partner.
4. Marry someone who has a lot of friends
This doesn't mean that your significant other has to be the most popular person around. But you should marry someone has friends. If you have a lot of friends, then you know how to keep a relationship going by reaching out and doing fun things together. Friendship requires you to forgive, to compromise, and to support each other. Marriage, at its best, is friendship.
5. Go on a roadtrip together
Before you get married, hop in the car for a roadtrip. You learn a lot about a person when you're stuck together in tight quarters for a long time. You'll get to be frustrated together, make travel plans together, and manage time and money together on a trip. All those are valuable things to know about someone—and about yourself.
6. Keep mints next to your bed
This way, you can wake up and kiss each other with minimal morning breath. It's a cute way to start the day off on a good note and it makes the rest of the day smoother.
7. Read books together
It's a way to grow closer to each other in a really classy way. Not only will you become more cultured as you read the classics, but it's a good way to present hypothetical situations to your spouse to get to know each other better. How would you have reacted if you were in this character's place?
8. Keep journals
It will help you analyze your relationship, remember the good times, and get through the rough times.
9. Don't wait for a sign
Don't wait to hear from God before you marry someone. Some people think that they have to be struck by revelation to know that they're marrying "the one." But sometimes you have to go on faith. You can't always wait for God to tell you everything you should do. Trust your instincts, and if you've done your research and you feel okay about marrying them, or making any other big decision together, go for it.
10. Love yourself
It's so much easier to love someone else when you love yourself. You spouse won't be able to fill all of your emotional needs 100% of the time, so you need to be able to love yourself and be a whole person on your own.
Hannah Chudleigh joined FamilyShare because of its positive influence on families worldwide. She earned her bachelor's degree in English and loves reading, writing, and running.