Tales of an Educated Debutante: Love myself (and put that bikini top on)

"Are you going swimming? Where is your shirt?" These are questions of my daughter. She turns eight on Sunday and she only knows a mother that swims in a shirt. When had I become that person?

Posted 7:28 p.m. Jul 12, 2017 — Updated 7:28 p.m. Jul 12, 2017

Adrian H. Wood

Editor's note: This article originally appeared on Tales of an Educated Debutante's Facebook page.

"Are you going swimming? Where is your shirt?"

These are questions of my daughter. She turns eight on Sunday and she only knows a mother that swims in a shirt. When had I become that person?

You haven't worn a bikini top in 20-something years.

Why not?

Your stomach hasn't seen the light of day since you were 30 pounds lighter.

Why not?

You used to be so confident, I tell myself.

I used to love myself.

Why does it matter? Does it even matter? Who cares?

She does.

The little girl that scrutinizes her mother at every step, every turn, every crossroad and yes, even every shirt.

So, today I took it off and I was more uneasy than I care to admit - ashamed almost. Pale belly, full breasts, thick torso. I haven't been that exposed on a beach since I became a mother. Why not?

It's that voice.

Adrian H. Wood, PhD, is a N.C. mom and writer who offers glimpses where satire meets truth, faith meets irony, despair meets joy and this educated debutante escapes the laundry, finds true meaning in graceful transparency regarding education, special needs, and the real life that is not always lovely, but worth sharing.

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