Julia Sims: Lessons for son - and mom - from Cotillion

If you ask my son, he’d tell you Cotillion is the dreaded “c”-word (but, we won’t go there!).

You see, for years when he’d put his elbows on the table during dinner or chew with his mouth open, I’d say “That’s OK, you’ll learn table manners when you go to Cotillion.” Inevitably his response would be, “No way. I am not doing it.”

Well, he’s doing it.

Of course, his first class went as things usually do with us: It was crazy like a fire drill!

Mike wasn’t home, so I’d asked him to tie Will’s tie and leave it loosened for him to put on. When it was time to get ready, I slipped it over his head. Will pulled the wrong end and we were left with a mess of a tie that reached below his waist. Reminder to self: learn to tie a tie!

Then came the shoes. I’m not sure how I didn’t realize Will didn’t have any dress shoes. Maybe it’s the fact his feet seem to grow a full size every three months! I ignored the explicit rules that said, “no athletic shoes,” and told him to wear his black tennis shoes. The only problem? They have bright red stripes. (Oops!)

Then Will said, “Mama, you know you’re ruining my childhood, right? I look like an old man going to a wedding!”

Well, I’m pretty sure that “old man” and his buddies had a great time. On the ride home, laughter filled the car as he and his friend told funny stories about the class.

And then, something wonderful happened. We got home, and Will said he had homework. He was required to introduce himself to five people. Mike and I were his first two test subjects. 

Will looked us in the eyes, shook our hands, introduced himself, said his name and said that he was pleased to meet us.

As another mother said that handshake - and the confidence that went with it - was worth it.

We’ve emphasized manners throughout the years: Will says please and thank you, he holds the door open for others and he writes thank you notes. Still, I feel like Cotillion will help reinforce those actions as well as teach him other things that will serve him well in the future. Plus, he’s learning the foxtrot!

Will may not know it now, but, I think he’ll thank me later. Of course, we still need to figure out the tie thing!

Julia Sims is the mom of one and a former reporter for WRAL-TV. She regularly appears here on Go Ask Mom.