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Stop being lonely by doing these 3 things

Posted February 11

At one point, you've felt lonely. Perhaps that feeling came when you realized you were different from others or no one understood you. Perhaps it came when you were in a house all by yourself or when surrounded by friends. No matter what, you have felt the deep and horrible feeling of being lonely.

For some people the feelings of loneliness never leave them. That has happened to me. For almost a year I was incredibly lonely. I was married. I had friends. I had family. Yet, nothing could fill the hole inside of me, except me.

I was the key to expelling the loneliness inside of me, just like you are the key to eliminating your own loneliness. Here is what you can do:

1. Recognize who you are

Since loneliness often stems from not feeling comfortable with who you are around other people, the disconnected feeling you have could be because you aren’t being true to yourself. Spend time being comfortable with who you are.

I have always wanted to be the funny person that people always want to be around, but that persona I created felt fake — I thought the only reason why people wanted to be around me was because of my fake persona. When I took time to understand both the good and the bad things about my personality, I was able to create stronger and more lasting friendships. My relationship with my husband got better, and I was able to work on improving the things I disliked about myself.

Learn to be comfortable with who you are. You don’t need to be perfect, but once you accept yourself, you will be able to create those deep personal bonds you didn’t think you ever would.

2. Build up your self worth

Ignore that annoying, negative voice that whispers things in your head like “No one likes you” or “Can’t you see you are just a burden to him?” You are a wonderful person, flaws and all. When you hear that negative voice, start thinking about the positive things about yourself. It could be something small like how your shoes are very cute and how many compliments you've gotten today. When you start thinking about the positive, you will have a more positive image of yourself.

Surround yourself with people who make you smile and avoid those that make you cry. You are worth more than you can even imagine, so don’t let people tell you otherwise.

3. Try new things

It is difficult to put yourself out there, I understand. Many people who struggle with loneliness also have depression or anxiety. I have social anxiety. Going out and trying something new is never easy for me, but when I finally faced my fears I surprisingly had a great time. If you always wanted to go ice skating, but were afraid what people would think if you would fall, just go ice skating. If you fall or when you fall, know that everyone else has, too.

As you do these three things, you will find that your self confidence has grown. Bouts of loneliness still might occur, but now you know what to do. Never be afraid to go talk to a therapist about your feelings. Sometimes loneliness stems from childhood experience of abuse or from anxiety and depression. In these cases a therapist can not only help you heal yourself, but guide you in a more personal manner.

Never be afraid to be you. You are incredible.

Stacie Simpson is a journalism student. She loves listening to, gathering and sharing stories and advice to help others improve their quality of life. She spends most of her free time with her husband, ballroom dancing, reading and writing.

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