You can always spot a first-timer. That is, a media member covering the NCAA tournament for the first time.

It's not because their appearance. Far from it. The tournament attracts all waves of photographers, reporters and engineers who can either make or break all the stereotypes fitting of their job description.

No, what separates a tournament veteran and a tournament newbie is one who fails to follow the most strictly enforced rule since "roughing the passer". It's a rule I refer to simply as "The Cup Check".

Here's how the scene always goes. A media newbie walks around the arena anywhere outside the rigid boundaries of the Media Buffet jurisdiction, where media members eat their meals. The newbie has a drink in hand.

That's when the NCAA gestapo springs into action...

And while you patiently await what happens in this confrontation, I offer you a little background on the NCAA, just to let you know what kind of group we're dealing with here. When I refer to the acronym that stands for the National Collegiate Athletic Association, I hope you're not reading it as "N-C-double-A". That's supposed blasphemy.

No, this fine organization--the one that insists on referring to players as "student-athletes" during press conferences (I'm sure even Chris Washburn earned this title just by appearing in a tournament)--is an organization that makes sure its announcers never say "N-C-Double-A", but always "N-C-A-A". Watch Jim Nantz this tournament. If you can count the amount of times he uses the phrase "N-C-double-A" on more than zero hands, I owe you a trip to The Angus Barn.

There, you have it in writing.

So where was I?

Oh yes, The Cup Check.

Well, when any employee of a tournament site's event staff spots an unassuming media member casually carrying a cola can, the following happens...

Event Staffer: EXCUSE ME!!!
Media Newbie: (confused, looking around to see if anyone else is there, sheepishly asks) Umm...yes'm?
Event Staffer: WHAT do you think you're DOING?!?!
Media Newbie: Walking? I dunno. Something wrong?
Event Staffer: Are you CRAZY!?! Every drink in this arena must be in an official "N-C-A-A" Dasani cup! You think you're better than the "N-C-A-A"?

At that moment, the defendant scours the arena. He (or she) notices all living creatures enjoying a beverage in the arena are sipping obediently from the same style blue cup. Coaches, players, trainers, fans, skycam operators, everybody. They all have felt the wrath, and have since feared the consequences. Pretty faces are not immune to this treatment. I witnessed Debra Morgan get busted on Diet Coke charges last year in Fresno.

You've seen these cups before, and you'll see them all tournament long. There's nothing fancy about these cups. They are blue with the NCAA logo on top and the word "Dasani" directly underneath. You know Dasani. It's that brand of bottled water that tastes like all those other brands of bottled water that taste like the water you can get from your faucet (Note: If you live in the Raleigh area, never turn on your faucet, for drought's sake!).

Well, after Coach K curses at a referee, he'll water his throat with a drink from one of those cups. When Roy Williams pleads on the sideline that Tyler Hansbrough doesn't travel, he'll wet his whistle with a beverage from one of those blue containers.

I'm not really sure why it's such a strictly enforced rule (or why I'm so bitter about it). No one has caught me breaking this First Commandment of tournament coverage since my first year. But thou shalt not put any other rule before this one. Event staffers will let you bring in a Wile E. Coyete-esque two and a half pound lit stick of dynamite in one hand and let you walk by with nary a glance up from their romance novel.

But, if that other hand wields a can of NuGrape, seek shelter and cover head.