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  • ncspamfish Feb 11, 2011

    rosen s firm represented my ex during the divorce proceedings. and it probably cost her $25-30K. me??..........less than $2,500.

    the social networks provide an escape nagging, to get the physical needs attended to, etc.

    as for marriage, its for women, by women, and about women........command and control.

    i dont regret any of my dallying and i m dang glad i m divorced now. life is good.

  • nmorton79 Feb 11, 2011

    Well the old saying is true. "If they are happy at home then they won't be looking outside."

    What a load of baloney...try telling that to a judge when they're awarding the jilted spouse alimony, child/spousal support, or a multimillion dollar settlement against the cheating spouses lover for alienation of affection and criminal conversation(both of which the state of North Carolina recognizes)...tell a judge that and see what they say. If someone is going to cheat, they're going to do it because thats what they want to do. If you are that unhappy, either do what you can to fix it or walk away. Don't blame it on the spouse and make it a reason to cheat.

  • Mugu Feb 11, 2011

    Tip: Don't get married.

  • TeamHatteras Feb 11, 2011

    To "Scot" from the news report last night... I saw your shadow, all 350lbs of it and your 3 chins to boot. Trust me, dude, FaceBook was not what caused your wife to stray.

  • MECU0905 Feb 11, 2011

    Soyousay "me..prove we have nothing to hide.

    you have to prove that?"

    No, I do not have to prove that, but we both choose to. Openness and honesty in a relationship keeps out the bad thoughts, feelings, and worries.

  • musthavecoffee Feb 11, 2011

    Oh, naw he didn't!

  • pjnoobie2 Feb 11, 2011

    I quarantee that the man they interviewed was having marital problems longgg before his wife got on facebook....he can blame it on facebook if he wants too and everyone can believe that if they want too...

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    "According to enrichment journal on the divorce rates in America, the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%; the divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%; the divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%."

    "The divorce rate in America is more than 50%, which means one in two couples will break up."

    "Various studies on US Divorce rate show significant differences when a comparison is made in 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriage, divorce rate in America.
    Divorce rate in America after first marriage is from 41% to 50%.
    US divorce rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67%
    After 3 marriages the US divorce rate is from 73% to 74%

  • YoucanthandletheTRUTH Feb 11, 2011

    fatchanceimwrong: You are missing the point. Your statistic is not accurate and therefore certainly does not reflect your statement of marriage failing more than it works. It is simply not true.

  • ezLikeSundayMorning Feb 11, 2011

    I have 5 or 6 ex girlfriends on facebook and it's not even the slightest temptation to me. My wife hangs out with one of them and I like one of her exes very much. If you thought enough of someone to date them, they were also a good friend at a time in your life.

    Many people happen to use facebook as a tool for cheating, but it's not automatic.

  • dcatz Feb 11, 2011

    Why are you guys still using Internet Explorer 6? The thing has more holes in it than swiss cheese.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    YoucanthandletheTRUTH: "since when does 50% mean said, 50% divorce rate equates failing more than it works. What county did you get your math education in".

    Um, read again. I said "a divorce rate over even quoted me on it. Seems I got my math education the same place you learned to read.

  • oldrwizr Feb 11, 2011

    Hey, jrfergerson, yeah but are you sure you're HIS only social contact?

  • YoucanthandletheTRUTH Feb 11, 2011

    Why do people feel the need to live their lives in their own pasts? Reconnect with old friends, did you not make new ones? Is your life not better now than it was then? What are you really hoping to find on these sites? It is just a slippery slope and a risk not worth taking.

  • oldrwizr Feb 11, 2011

    Oh, man, lawyers are getting rich off this! I had no way of knowing about "social networking" when I made my career choice but divorce lawyer sure looks good now!

  • YoucanthandletheTRUTH Feb 11, 2011

    "In this day and age, I'm not sure that the concept of marriage works anymore. With a divorce rate over 50%, apparently it fails more than it works."
    First of all, your statistic is incorrect. This 50% number comes from the number of marriages in one year and the number of divorces in that same year. 100 got married last year and 50 divorced. What about the millions of marriages that have taken place out of that year, you can't say half of them are divorced. It simply isn't true. People always misuse this statistic because their own marriages fail and they want some type of societal justification/excuse for it. 50% of all marriages DO NOT fail.
    Also, if that stat were accurate in the way you use it, since when does 50% mean said, 50% divorce rate equates failing more than it works. What county did you get your math education in?
    Stop listening to the media! Marriage is alive and well and yes, there are happily married people in the world.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    fatchanceimwrong -- LOL; How'd I know somebody like you is divorced?? Your username is a good indicator.

  • sunydaze Feb 11, 2011

    a cheater will cheat with or without facebook. facebook isn't responsible for ending marraiges the same way McDonalds isn't responsible for obesity. personal responsibility folks! seriously!

  • musthavecoffee Feb 11, 2011

    LOL @ fatchanceimwrong. I'm with ya.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    deutschgirl89: Are you sure you're not my ex-wife?

  • ddm76 Feb 11, 2011

    soyousay - "Facebook is the last refuge for emotionally stunted adults and children of various ages..."

    It is a great way to reconnect with high school friends, college friends and stay connected with people when you work 10-12 hours a day. Sounds to me like you didn't have very many friends to begin with.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    wildcat: I agree. I shouldn't have gotten married to my now-ex-wife but I didn't realize it at that age. When someone finds themselves in a marriage that they don't want to continue, they should at least have the respect to end it before pursuing someone else.

    In this day and age, I'm not sure that the concept of marriage works anymore. With a divorce rate over 50%, apparently it fails more than it works.

    What doesn't make sense to me is that in NC you have to be separated for 1 year before you can get a divorce, but you can meet someone on Monday and marry them before the end of the week if you wish.

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    Remember the song "WHAT LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT." True words spoken to this day.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    fatchanceimwrong -- Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel better. :) Self-soothing is common in egotistical low-lifes.

    It felt good to knock you off that high horse. Have a nice day.

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    end up all alone.

    Then why get married or into a relationship at all if you are going to fool around?

  • ytb781pearl Feb 11, 2011

    It's just a website. I have one and it's how I stay in touch with my ex-military friends from all around the country. It's nice to see photos of their kids, special occasions, etc. These are people who meant something in my life at a certain point, that I still think about. I've also met some interesting writers that I follow, and have discussions of the state of the world, stories in the news, etc.

    There are a lot of petty people in the world, and even these people now have an internet connection and a fb account so I get to see their silly daily routines in my newsfeed, but I've learned to hide them. If I were local and had no long distance friends or family, fb would seem silly and have no purpose for me. I know people in Raleigh and all their fb friends are in Raleigh. Ah...pick up the phone.

    As for old lovers. I reconnected with one of mine before the internet a hand written letter. FB did not make me do it. If someone is going to cheat, they find a way.

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    The problem is many don't value or respect their marriage and that is the reason why they resort to looking else where. Many should not have married their partner in the first place. But did. Was not love in the beginning and in the mist there was no love. Out of all this, maybe children. How sad for them.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    Y'all clearly didn't understand what I said. Was I promoting cheating..not at all. What I said was that if someone is going to cheat, they'll do so with or without a social website. Blaming facebook for someone's infidelity is like blaming a gun for shooting someone. Or blaming Vegas for someone's gambling problems. Or blaming liquor for someone's drinking problem.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    "Get over yourself...your responses mean nothing to me. Just another opinion.: - deutschgirl89

    On the contrary, sounds to me like I got you pretty riled up. I do have fun doing that.

  • JAT Feb 11, 2011

    wildcat - but cheaters don't want to be honest. They want to have their cake and eat it too. If they fessed up and left before cheating, they might, heavens forbid, end up all alone.

  • JAT Feb 11, 2011

    If someone is looking to cheat, they'll eventually find a way to do it. Looking back, I'm sure "Scott" could identify problems with their marriage long before MySpace.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    then they're going to cheat anyway by some other means. fatchanceimwrong

    But if you are married at least show respect for each other. If one cannot do that, then divorce and move on with your life.

    Thanks wildcat....That's the point I was making with previous comments. But some people on here are more concerned with trying to look like the smart one when in reality they just look dumb because they can read, but not comprehend.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    fatchanceimwrong -- By the way, I'd recommend finding a better word than "ignorant" to use on here. That word is so played out on this site that it's lost it's meaning. Half of the time people don't even use it properly. Just because somebody has a difference of opinion, that does not make them "ignorant". That know-it-all attitude of yours must bite you in the you-know-what pretty often. If you're in a relationship...I feel bad for the other person. Extremely bad...

  • ncguy Feb 11, 2011

    might as well be adult friend finder...

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    complete transparency and accountability to each other.

    What a great TRUSTING couple you two are. May you continue to be blessed in your marriage for many many years to come. Most couple would not do that.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    fatchanceimwrong -- Your ignorance missed the fact that if you feel that way when you're married or in a committed relationship, you should be single. Not that hard to read. Why don't you pull your head out of your rear end and stop trying to find ways to just pick a debate with me on here. Get over yourself...your responses mean nothing to me. Just another opinion.

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    then they're going to cheat anyway by some other means.

    But if you are married at least show respect for each other. If one cannot do that, then divorce and move on with your life.

  • OGE Feb 11, 2011

    This is exactly why my wife and I know each others logins and are on each others page regularly. Similarly this is also why we have the same checking and credit card account...complete transparency and accountability to each other.

  • wildcat Feb 11, 2011

    Yes this facebook causes many problems in the marriage. You will see that they are looking for a partner, but yet they are marriage. When the spouse do find out, there is your big trouble. People need to think how valuable their marriage is before seeking friendship, etc. on facebook.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    Yeah, and guns kill people. If someone uses a social media to cheat, then they're going to cheat anyway by some other means.

  • fatchanceimwrong Feb 11, 2011

    deutschgirl89: There you go being ignorant again. There are plenty of ordinary people who reconnect with an old flame and there are plenty of reasons they do. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't, just like any relationship.

    It is fairly common for two people who couldn't make it work in the past to find themselves with different priorities later in life and reconnect.

  • happymom Feb 11, 2011

    "Well the old saying is true. "If they are happy at home then they won't be looking outside.' "

    Actually, that's not true. Shirley Glass, PhD and Peggy Vaughn are two of the most well respected researchers on infidelity. Both of them have published years of research that show that even in marriages that aren't troubled, spouses cheat. The issue isn't the marriage, it's the unhealthy coping skills and other internal issues within the cheating spouse.

    One of Glass's classic lines is that "the one in the marriage who thinks he isn't getting enough is not giving enough." In other words, the reason cheaters aren't happy at home is because they are busy cheating, giving their time and attention elsewhere.

    Blaming the betrayed spouse is like blaming a rape victim for their trauma. It's a double cruelty and it's disgusting.

  • kikinc Feb 11, 2011

    I have a Facebook page, as does my boyfriend. I am still very good friends with one of my exes, and he has met my current boyfriend numerous times. And, yes, I have had past flames try to contact me through Facebook with friend requests and the like. There's something called the ignore button that you can use when you don't feel like going down memory lane. Why rehash the past? Get the confidence to live in the present and look forward to the future. Formers flames are just that, former, and usually are for a reason.

  • soyousay Feb 11, 2011

    me..prove we have nothing to hide.

    you have to prove that?

  • carlostheass Feb 11, 2011

    "Well the old saying is true. 'If they are happy at home then they won't be looking outside.'" --cantbtaught

    Happiness comes from within. Those who look outside themselves for happiness almost always divorce, but they never find happiness because they're looking in the wrong place. You must be a whole person before you can love someone else and give selflessly to them. I know someone right now who is stumbling around because she has never found true happiness. She keeps looking for the next someone or something to make her happy. Once the shine wears off, she finds it didn't bring happiness...and she's off again. It's sad.

  • MECU0905 Feb 11, 2011

    My husband and I share all e-mail and social networking passwords, because we feel that the openness will prove we have nothing to hide.

  • dragonfly77 Feb 11, 2011

    Meant to say if you aren't mentally and physically take care of.

  • redspringssean Feb 11, 2011

    I guess this is just setting the stage for the next class action lawsuit against FB and Myspace. Too bad John Edwards missed out on this one.

  • CAROLINA43 Feb 11, 2011

    I don't have a 'facebook' or 'myspace' account and I never will. I feel the government (these sites ARE monitored) already has plenty of information about my life and I don't feel the need to disclose any more personal information. If you play you will pay!!! How much effort would one put into contacting an old flame or 'ex' if it were not for these social networking sites? You're hiding behind a keyboard and a monitor, saying all of the right things (because you've 'googled' relationship topics and "how to get back with my 'ex'" topics) and all you have to do is merely 'cut and paste' your feelings. You're looking for trouble and you'll find it on these sites.

  • CarolinaGirlRJA Feb 11, 2011

    "People want to get another shot at their old flame. It's just natural" - corey3rd

    Sorry, but you must be one of those who would cheat then. If you are in a relationship and feel you want another shot with your old need to be SINGLE! And it's not natural to feel that way. Only people with unresolved feelings for their exes would feel that way. Not any ordinary person.

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