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shadowbubbaz Dec 11, 2:51 p.m.
My friend go a 50B ( restraining order) and it did NO HELP
shadowbubbaz Dec 11, 2:50 p.m.
I have been in a domestic vilonce situation before and Iahve seen it first hand, there is NO justice for women who are abused by their boyfriend or husband!!! The jail's would much rather arrest a drug dealer or someone who hasnt paid child support and keep them locked up for years before they will arrest a husband or wife that has beaten their spouse so bad that you cant even tell who they are. Ihave been witness to this too much!!!! It is SICK to know that most women die by domestic vilence. I had a friend that did what she was told to do by police and got a protective order against her boyfriend, it did NO good what so ever! I was there I saw it!!! I went to court with her for a whole year trying to get him to stay in jail because she was scared for her and her children and he got out and broke in her house and beat her so bad I could not tell who she was when I first saw her. So then the abuser get locked up again and out again and kidnaps my friend andtake her through two towns an
LOC Dec 6, 1:22 p.m.
This is just horrible... Praying for all partied involved.
Tray Cee Dec 4, 2:26 p.m.
I know personally that if when you file a 50B against someone and tell the court that the person has weapons when they are served by the police the weapons, ammo and unused gun permits are taken by the police.
esprg Dec 4, 1:40 p.m.
@ejovanic...I was jut thinking the same thing... so sad for the kids & really all those left behind.
ejoevanic Dec 4, 12:32 p.m.
Oh that's just great. What a Christmas these kids will have.
Wake1 Dec 4, 12:17 p.m.
How will these poor kids ever understand this??
Bartmeister Dec 4, 12:11 p.m.
"I'd like to see a policy that allows cops to come in and confiscated all weapons, "
Under NO circumstances would that be a good thing if no criminal activity is or has taken place. And before this terrible action, none of that had happened. I'm usually siding on the side of government and law enforcement but no way I give up my rights to that extent.
Bartmeister Dec 4, 12:08 p.m.
1) Copy DID mention home price (rich) thought_criminal
Really? So if you own a "MORTGAGE" for a home valued at $400K you're rich? Sweet! I'm filthy rich!!!! How about a middle aged working couple with a $400K house, 2 BMW's, kids in private schools..............rich? Or just in hock up to their ears trying to pull ends together? I would call that upper middle class at best. Whatever, race, social status, and religious status are all assumed in your comments.
djofraleigh Dec 4, 11:07 a.m.
I'd like to see a policy that allows cops to come in and confiscated all weaponsCOMMENT
Easy for us to send poor cops into a house to face that...and if I waa a 100# woman I don't think I would let go of my 357 pistol or shotgun when afraid of my 200# angry, under the influence lover. There's no easy answer, but one part is to get out early, way before it comes to this. Don't be around angry, ill-tempered people whose emotions rule them.
davidgnews Dec 4, 11:06 a.m.
"I'd like to see a policy that allows cops to come in and confiscated all weapons, "
If he didn't have a gun he would have used /done something else. Let's not overreact to the point of violating rights, as it's a dangerous suggestion.
You're thinking that they can have their guns back and live happily ever after isn't reliable, either. Family counselors neither want nor need to be involved with weapons decisions.
davidgnews Dec 4, 11:02 a.m.
There could be a 3rd party involved. slugolicious
There was, according to reports. There's a lot of missing info at this location, however.
djofraleigh Dec 4, 11:00 a.m.
if he wants to kill you, he will find a way. -- comment
disagree. Many such events are avoided by actions taken. The man doesn't always find a way, and circumstances do play a role.
The man killed himself, so even he was a victim. Society must better predict, intervene, and treat relationships headed in this direction. There's about two of these a month in NC alone, murder suicides. Every week there's a murder by a "loved one."
If that is love causing this, then I wonder what he would have done if he "hated" her? It's not love. Love doesn't really drive one mad, either. Possessiveness, jealousy, dominance are not any part of love.
djofraleigh Dec 4, 10:51 a.m.
This isn't about race, religion, age, geography, or wealth. It's about domestic violence within a marriage. Readers want desperately to divorce themselves and their lives from such events. "This couldn't happen to me" is the wanted outcome.
Lamborghini Mercy Dec 4, 10:44 a.m.
In the event that 911 is dialed and it's mentioned there's a dispute going on and someone has a gun, I'd like to see a policy that allows cops to come in and confiscated all weapons, and put a temporary block on that person from owning a gun until both parties have settled the dispute and it's approved by a certified family counselor.
shannonatlanticvend Dec 4, 10:35 a.m.
InterAct helps ALL people regardless of skin color, bruises or no bruises. I am an InterAct volunteer. DV goes WAY beyond a possible bruise.
sunneyone2 Dec 4, 10:24 a.m.
How awful. Those poor children. And the family member that found it. My heart goes out to them.
NiceNSmooth Dec 4, 9:36 a.m.
Interact may be there to help some, but I know for a fact that when there are no bruises, no restraining orders and no police involved...you get pushed to the wayside, especially if you are white middle class.
So if there are no bruises or restraining orders (which is your job to get) what would you like them to help with? Lets stop playing the race card and start looking at what you did or didnt do to help yourself InterAct is a great organization that helps people that truely NEED help with DV situations.
monami Dec 4, 9:19 a.m.
Like the Kathy Bertrand murder by her ex at Cameron village earlier this year, if he wants to kill you, he will find a way. Amber had sought police protection when he was confronted about moving out. This guy waited until the mother in law took the older kids to school. Whether he intended to kill her in advance, we'll probably never know.
How you you protect yourself 24/7 from a violent man? She had someone staying with her. He "always carried." (Don't get me started on that.) Don't you dare blame the victim!
slugolicious Dec 4, 9:02 a.m.
They owned a $400K house. That's "rich" by some people's standards but not by others. It's all relative. Avg price of a home in Wake County in 2009 was $255K (city-data dot com) so make your own call. You might be "rich" too.
Just because she was invited to a Bible study doesn't mean she was Christian. The invitor most likely was, but not necessarily the invitee.
Ethnicity was never mentioned. Can you tell someone's heritage just by 'robert' or 'amber'? NBC17 showed a crying woman who could have been the children's grandmother but it could have been a neighbor too. She appeared Caucasian but even if she was the wife's mother, that doesn't mean the father couldn't have been another race.
But as the common thread among all the comments so far, who cares? None of these details matter or are relevant. One adult chose a cowardly selfish solution to a difficult problem. (Although even that isn't confirmed. There could be a 3rd party involved. We don't know yet.) Xmas will never be same.
thought_criminal Dec 4, 9:01 a.m.
seankelly15: "I didn't see ANYTHING about money or race in the article. And, asking someone's bible study group to pray for them does not mean that they are christian.”
Reading comprehension is not your strongest suit. My comment: “If they had used the "white" word..." Notice that qualifier IF? It means they didn't use it.
You probably didn't read the older reader comments, but the original story copy DID mention home prices. WRAL updated (and edited) the story throughout the day removing the bit about the home prices. The "reporter(s)" probably realized that the home prices have NOTHING TO DO with causing the murder/suicide, but never stop pushing class warfare agenda.
The bit about bible study and asking them to "pray for her" IS covertly anti-Christian.
1) Copy DID mention home price (rich)
2) Copy DID mention Bible/pray (Christians)
3) Copy DID NOT mention race (white), but IF they did it would have been a hate trifecta.
Typical leftist journalism.
superman Dec 4, 8:56 a.m.
If you husband or wife has a bad temper and has guns and you dont get along--one of them needs to be smart enough to move out. With a bad temper and guns you should never ever escalate a dispute. He was on disability with a back injury and he was having an affair? Had she feared for her life why didnt she move? Women sometimes stay in these situations because they dont want to give up their security of a house and regular income.
Its the who what Dec 4, 8:42 a.m.
They do not do enough to protect women in domestic disputes. She obviously feared for her life because she call the police on him before. If you own a gun and have a domestic dispute, you should be made to turn over all weapons and law enforcement need to figure something out to make sure that they keep the people away from each other!!
hollylama Dec 4, 8:39 a.m.
I love how some commentators check the real estate records enough to know the address is incorrect but then they chastise WRAL for an wrong address...???
ali817959 Dec 4, 8:31 a.m.
People dont be so ignorant. This is about two people are dead and three kids are without parents. Thats why the world is the way it is now. It is not about race,religion or politics. This is about something very devastated that happened to some human beens.
Bartmeister Dec 4, 8:09 a.m.
If they had used the "white" word they could have gone for the trifecta...white, rich and Christian. Notice how they threw in the "...she was invited to bible study..." in the very short article? What in the world does that have to do with ANYTHING?! thought_criminal
I agree with seankelly15, nothing here is mentioned about race, wealth, or religion. Well except your reference to them. Where is the reference to them being "rich"? Because they have a home? Sounds like the race issue looms large for you.
seankelly15 Dec 3, 7:57 p.m.
thought_criminal - "If they had used the "white" word they could have gone for the trifecta...white, rich and Christian. Notice how they threw in the "...she was invited to bible study..." in the very short article? What in the world does that have to do with ANYTHING?!"
I didn't see ANYTHING about money or race in the article. And, asking someone's bible study group to pray for them does not mean that they are christian. Aside from your absurd assertions, the bible reference was part of the wife's feelings that her life was in danger.
thought_criminal Dec 3, 7:43 p.m.
Why does it matter how much the house cost? Simple. Class warfare by this "objective" news organization. You've got to demonize the rich remember?
I'm surprised the headline didn't read "Husband, wife, White, dead in Holly Springs murder-suicide."
If they had used the "white" word they could have gone for the trifecta...white, rich and Christian. Notice how they threw in the "...she was invited to bible study..." in the very short article? What in the world does that have to do with ANYTHING?!
caroexc Dec 3, 7:16 p.m.
this had nothing to do with Obama or gun control or anything else other than infidelity and its consequences. (his infidelity) ,reportedly; and her response of asking, and or telling, him to leave. Our society is turning into a i do what i want society with no regard for the consequences until those consequences rear their ugly head then most can't deal with it.This kind of behavior is purely selfish and evil. Now three children are orphans. Such a shame and terrible sin.
Hokies94 Dec 3, 6:50 p.m.
Another sad story. Leaving 3 little children for what? I am praying for all family members. and, especially these children. What a waste. Where is our society going anymore?
common tater Dec 3, 6:09 p.m.
DK12 has it right...suicide in cases like this comes from a highly self-centered life. Prayers for the family.
Just Plain Common Sense Dec 3, 6:08 p.m.
No excuse is good enough (yes, you can quote me) - just give me credit for it. No excuse validates this crime. I am appalled, and sad for all of them. People: be kind to the ones closest to you. Even if you are having problems, would you have treated that person when you first met and fell in love with the same way you do today (when you know them)? I see. Lot that people are nicer to their coworkers, friends, complete strangers than they are to the only ones in the world who truly love them: their family (spouse/children/parents/grandparents, cousins, etc.). When you marry, the only thing that will surely change (for better or worse) is the worse part. Just totally sad, and poor timing to kick someone out of their house during the holidays. What about how all this affected those poor kids and will forever, and do not tell me it won't. REMEMBER: you only have to get through THIS day - 1 more thing, 1 more time, 1 more day.
monami Dec 3, 5:47 p.m.
He didn't "lose" his job. He "retired" (with 10 years of service?) and had a "bad back." And a girlfriend.
He bought the house after leaving his job in California. If he was depressed, it was because his wife kicked him out of the house and was looking after her's and her children's well-being!
Nancy Dec 3, 5:40 p.m.
Considering they moved here from CA, I'm not at all surprised they could afford that house, the cost of living and such in CA would have put them ahead of the costs here. Since he was recently unemployed due to injury, their could also have been money from disability from work etc.
Apparently she confronted him about an affair he was having and that's when things got bad.
What a selfish man he was.
superman Dec 3, 5:34 p.m.
300 to 500K house and he lost his job. I am sure he was depressed.
erinlikescoupons Dec 3, 5:21 p.m.
NBC 17 has a longer story. Involves the wife calling 911 the day after Thanksgiving saying she feared for her life. Apparently the husband was having an affair and he had a temper.
Bartmeister Dec 3, 5:20 p.m.
Why this trend of killing someone then yourself? Why not just kill yourself, especially when kids are involved.
beachboater Dec 3, 5:17 p.m.
If you feel you just have to kill someone, kill yourself and don't take anyone else with you. So very sad for the children.
I know some adult children whose father chased their mother down at work and shot her with a shotgun. He then turned the gun on himself in the parking lot of where she worked.
Even as adults, the children were all in a state of shock. It was terrible. Young children probably will never understand why their parents hated each other enough to resort to this.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the children and the extended family. We can only hope that their are brother or sisters than can take the children in and maybe keep some normalcy in their lives. So sad.
monami Dec 3, 5:12 p.m.
And bless the mother-in-law who came upon this horrific discovery. I hope she can heal from her loss and the trauma.
dk12 Dec 3, 5:11 p.m.
sound more like the husband lost focus on what important in life..
this is just sad..now what happens to the children?
such selfishness..its horrible..
erinlikescoupons Dec 3, 4:38 p.m.
It appears that the husband was unemployed. His linked in page says "Raising 3 humans." I can only assume that would have added stress to any marriage going from a full time Experienced Explosive Detection K9 Handler to a stay-at-home dad.
jet9192 Dec 3, 4:36 p.m.
For those discussing Interact, it is a wonderful help to people in need but what really helped my daughter was Divorce Care at a local church. She was always a very good person and did everything to keep peace but she really was helped tremendously at the church.
moogies Dec 3, 4:27 p.m.
So very sad to hear of this, especially on the heels of the tragedy in Kansas City with a similar situation. I pray for the kids involved as in both situations they are now orphaned and may never fully understand why both of their parents were taken from them. I don't know the method of murder/suicide used in this case - whether gun related or not. But there seems to be an awful lot of violence being reported lately in our state. Not that it's any more than in other areas around the country, but every day news media reports of shootings here and there, violence against children, senior citizens, robberies, etc. It doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have. If you tend towards violence, that's an upbringing thing. Just don't understand that mindset I guess, especially when children are involved.
I know some stuff Dec 3, 4:27 p.m.
the address has been updated from 223, to 233 as someone suggested earlier. The Wake county records picture does show THAT house at 233. I'm not going to tell the name.
ABC reports police were called for DV on Thanksgiving weekend.
No mystery of what happened, just why such DV can escalate to this level!
Why can't people just 'leave', and not resort to GUNS.
computer trainer Dec 3, 4:26 p.m.
I ask that all of you realize that it does NOT have to be the man who did the killing. MANY, MANY men are abused and would never come forward, because of the shame of it. Some are emotionally abused, some are physically abused. It will NEVER make any difference. They will be abused and no one will ever know OR care, or BELIEVE!
Nancy Dec 3, 4:26 p.m.
I posted the price since WRAL bothered to inform the public that houses in that subdivision went from $300-$500K and it seems that drew a lot of attention, no other reason.
momnextdoor Dec 3, 4:25 p.m.
Storchheim's comments are dangerously inaccurate in regards to Interact and extremely misinformed about domestic violence. Sometimes violences starts suddenly, escalates quickly, ther times it subtlely grows so people aren't aware. (A frog that jumps in hot water jumps right out, but one that's in it where as heat icreases will stay 'til cooked.) Often victims have no family history DV--they are simply trusting of their loved ones. The situation can be so dangerous they have to proceed slowly, carefully--the MOST DANGEROUS TIME is when a Victim decides to leave.
Interact is extremely effective. It's saved 1000's of lives, helped families break the cycle, people learn the red flags and steer clear, survivors heal.
It is NOT a "United Way company" but an individual nonprofit, under United Way umbrella simply to make it easier for people to give easily. While nonprofits are allowed to do a limited amount of advocacy Interact does NONE.
Ignorance like storchheim's kills.
youpeoplearesoentertaining Dec 3, 4:12 p.m.
scubagirl....the article states that a couple was found dead in the home....I think we can safely assume that these kids do not have any parents now...
youpeoplearesoentertaining Dec 3, 4:09 p.m.
Thank You, Goalieman!! I couldn't have said it better....
CAVELADY2 Dec 3, 4:06 p.m.
why does it matter how much the house cost? The 3 kids lost both of there parents. That's the main concern! The KIDS! NOTthe price of the house!
Published: 2008-01-11 14:37:00
Updated: 2010-06-21 13:53:03