CARY, N.C. — Butterflies, macaroni and cheese and time with her dad.

Those were just some of 4-year-old Katlin Violette's favorite things, according to her grandparents, Thomas and Barbara Marks, who spoke at her funeral Thursday.

The girl was found dead, her head severed from her body, last Friday at her suburban home in Clayton about 15 miles southeast of Raleigh. She and her father, John Patrick Violette, were to have spent the day together.

Violette, 37, was charged Wednesday with murder in his daughter's death and was being held without bond in Raleigh's Central Prison.

"The John you read about in the papers is not the John we know," Thomas Marks told more than 200 mourners at Colonial Baptist Church in Cary.

Pastor Stephen Davey said the family was praying for Violette as they mourned Katlin.

"To the world, this is another story. To us, it's family," Davey said.

In a written message in the funeral program, Katlin's mother Amber Violette said her daughter was "our pride, joy and the highlight of every day."

"Right now, there are no special words that I can say to relieve any of the confusion or pain that any of us are experiencing, except to say that God's promise of giving peace that surpasses all understanding is still true, even today," she wrote.

Bubba Puryear, who worked in the church's nursery with Amber Violette some Sunday nights, said he and others still want to know why such a thing happened.

"I don't think anyone knows right now," Puryear said.

Investigators have not found any history of domestic or mental health problems at the home, and still don't know a possible motive for the killing, police have said.