Proposed Fair Themes for 2009

So I was reading the NC State Fair blog last night, and noted the latest entry discussing how the NC State Fair themes are generated. I have my favorites (does anyone remember the "Love A Fair" slogan in the 1970s?) and I had wondered who came up with the new mottos. The blog post about it was refreshingly candid, explaining this year's "Take Time for a Great Time" and adding, "In ad-speak, it's a call to action that evokes positive emotion. But mostly it just sounds good."

The Fair's Twitter channel has also solicited theme ideas from the public, so I would humbly like to submit four to the braintrust at the North Carolina Department of Agriculture.

THE PLAIN TRUTH ANGLE

NC State Fair 2009: Deep Fried Hedonism -- Hey, you get bags of swag from the Kerr Scott Building, you ride rides until you have semi-permanent vertigo, and you eat deep-fried foods that, heaven knows, were never meant to be deep-fried. It's ten days of Deep Fried Hedonism. And as a bonus, "Deep Fried Hedonism" sounds like a punk band. "Deep Fried Hedonism? Oh, yeah, I got their latest album off iTunes. Observe my hipness."

THE HIGHBROW ANGLE

NC State Fair 2009: Esse Effertus Per Funnel Crustum Quam Videri Effertus Per Funnel Crustum -- As you probably know, the state motto is Esse quam videri ("To be, rather than to seem.") I have altered that with what I'm sure is excruciatingly bad Latin into a more Fair-appropriate motto: "To be stuffed with funnel cake rather than to seem stuffed with funnel cake." I'm not sure it would fit on a t-shirt, though.

THE "IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME" ANGLE

NC State Fair 2009: Delighting the Million -- Steve Troxler wants a million people at the Fair, so why not build that into the theme? And besides, it scans a lot better than "Delighting the 900,000 or So". Maybe the Fair can set up those signs like McDonald's used to have: "Over xxxxxx million people delighted."

THE "THESE MIDWAY RIDES GET SCARIER EVERY YEAR" ANGLE

NC State Fair 2009: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -- 'Nuff said.