Hillsborough, N.C. — A man accused of killing his father and then firing a weapon at Orange High School in April 2006 said in a videotape made prior to the shootings that he “had to do another massacre.”

“We must leave this world, and I believe I was stopped by suicide by God, because I have to do another massacre,” Alvaro Rafael Castillo said during a video aired during his trial on Thursday.

Castillo, 22, had previously attempted suicide, but his father stopped him.

Orange County Sheriff's Deputy Chan McDade began by testifying for the prosecution. He presented the video tapes seized from Castillo's bedroom. Jurors watched more than five hours of videos Castillo made.

Castillo has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to charges that he shot and killed his father, Rafael Huezo Castillo, and then opened fire outside the school, injuring two students. His trial is expected to last into next week.

Castillo said he did not select Orange High because he had any grudge against it. “I am not doing it for revenge. I love that school. I am doing it to save them,” he said

By killing students at Orange High Castillo said they wouldn’t have to suffer from depression, anxiety and fear. “Those people will not commit any mistakes in their lives,” he said.

Castillo said he was obsessed with the April 1999 school shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo. Prosecutors introduced into evidence a tape of Castillo's visit to Columbine High School. That video could also be played during the trial.

During the tapes, Castillo said he loved his guns because “I wanted something that could not reject me.” At one point, he sang while pointing an unloaded shotgun at the camera. In another video he puts a gun in his mouth.

Throughout the recordings, he mentioned his time in the National Guard, referring to himself as a "coward" because he couldn't take the drill sergeants yelling at him.

"I took everything personally, and I hold grudges. That's my problem. I can't let it go. I can't," he said.