Scrooge Tried for Assault on Santa
Posted December 22, 1997
RALEIGH — Every day, the Wake County Courthouse is the scene of tense, human drama played out before a judge and jury. But those walls seldom see anything like what a packed courtroom witnessed Monday. It was Christmas Court, and the man who allegedly attacked Santa Claus went on trial.
It was the case of the "Assaulted Santa."
The defendant, a Mr. Josh, was charged with attacking one Santa Claus on the night of 24 December, 1996. Presiding in the courtroom was Judge Donald Stephens.
Here's what Santa says happened.
Listen toauor Real Audiofile. "I was sliding down the chimney and this fat ugly man pulled me down."
Testimony showed that Mr. Josh was not pleased with the quality of his Christmas presents.
Listen toauor Real Audiofile. "It's been 5, 6 years since I got anything from Santa Claus."
Finally, as a rapt jury looked on, District Attorney Colon Willoughby asked the key question: "Did you assault Santa Claus?"
Listen toauor Real Audiofile. "I did... Gasp." In the name of holiday spirit, there was a warm embrace between plaintiff and defendant and all was forgiven... bringing to a close the case of the "Assaulted Santa."
Santa, admits it was a traumatic experience to have been assaulted on the job. What Mr. Josh thinking? He says he wasn't thinking.
That brings an end to another edition of the Christmas Court. So if you find yourself at loggerheads with a bearded creature from the north, don't take the law into your own hands... you take 'em to court.