Children Turn Into Their Parents, Without Regret
Posted May 4, 2000
RALEIGH — In the 1950s and '60s, raising a family seemed much less complicated. Mom and Dad had a clear division of labor, predictable schedules and all the right answers. Many children then are parents now, and in some ways, surprisingly little has changed.
"My parents took me to church and I'm taking mine to church, and they're pretty good kids," says Luanne Moore, a mother of three.
Times have changed, but the lessons learned back then impact how children are raised today.
Hugh Sanders remembers special times he had growing up. Now he does not miss any opportunity to create the same quality time for his three girls.
"I remember when I was a kid. I had grandparents and parents and I was always with one, and they were always giving me great times like this," Sanders says. "I'm just trying to pass that down because I think I learned a lot. I learned a lot about love and family."
Advice, knowledge and discipline styles are passed down, too.
Brent Jewell is a stay-at-home Dad. He is passing along good manners to his two girls. He often hears the echo of a familiar tone of voice in his own.
"When Dad spoke, you did what you were told. It wasn't optional," he says. "With my tone of voice, when they hear my voice change, they know that they've got my attention, and that's all it takes."
Craig and Diane Black come from different backgrounds, so they have had many discussions about parenting styles.
"We talked about it before Ethan was born, when we went into the decision of starting a family, but it's an ongoing process," Diane Black says. "You have to talk about it every day. Things change all the time."
"There are lots of different views on how to do it and you can read up on it, but a lot of it comes from your own experience when you're actually in the trenches," says Dr. Mark Scalco, a psychologist.
Different things work for different children, so what worked for your parents may not always work for you. And what worked yesterday may not work tomorrow.