Sweet Surrender? Women Debate Controversial New Book
Posted February 22, 2001
RALEIGH — Love fills the air on wedding days. Then, the honeymoon ends, and the reality of making a marriage work comes into play. A new book has a controversial strategy for keeping marriages intact.
"The Surrendered Wife" advocates a division of responsibilities that the book's author, Laura Doyle, claims will bring a couple closer together.
The basic premise: The wife relinquishes control of duties, like the finances. Instead of criticizing, she respects her husband's thinking. This way, she focus on herself and has more free time.
The "surrendered wife" will be vulnerable and more intimate with her husband, instead of being a nag. She trusts, does not control and is respectful where she used to be demeaning.
Women at a Raleigh hair salon discussed the philosophy.
"I think a lot of people equate 'surrender' with being vulnerable and being a victim, and naturally, we don't want to be in that position," said Tina Meehan.
But the idea of having more free time and fewer worries seemed to ring with some women.
"I'm afraid I wouldn't get any sleep at night if I had to make some of the major decisions that he has to make, so I appreciate him doing those things," said Jean Flythe, who is celebrating a half-century of marriage.
In June, Doyle will lead a group discussion in Raleigh about the book.