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Never assume these 7 things are normal in a relationship

Posted August 1

Finding your potential partner comes through trial and error. But if you are like most people, it’s been mostly through error.

A problem we face is either basing our relationship off of the romance novels we read or the couples we have interacted with.

By only reading about or seeing the couples we're trying to emulate, getting a good look at what is normal in a relationship is practically impossible until you experience it yourself.

Instead of waiting years and years to know what is normal, let me spoil it for you and tell you the seven things you think are normal but are actually very dangerous in a relationship.

1. Not fighting

If you think that keeping your feelings hidden in order to prevent any conflict is normal, you are wrong. Everyday isn’t meant to be picture perfect. Arguing can be a healthy part of a relationship because it shows you care enough to communicate your feelings and come up with a solution to the current issue.

It will be difficult to know how to handle the large problems if you haven’t been able to overcome the little things together.

2. Engaging in PDA constantly

Couples kiss in public. That is not only healthy but also recommended. Especially for women, knowing that you are not ashamed to show the whole world how you feel about us makes us truly feel like a princess.

But when it reaches the point of making bystanders uncomfortable, it may actually show a lack of real communication. Keep the kisses quick and leave the rest to when you are at home.

3. Trying to improve one another

You should push each other to be your best selves, but don’t go so far that your partner feels like they are your project. There is no such thing as a perfect person.

Expecting your partner to one day be perfect by following your example is just setting them up for failure. You will never be pleased with the results.

4. Keeping score

Especially if you are not married yet or keep your money separate from one another, this is a bad habit. Yes, it is acceptable to switch off who pays when you go out on a date, but are you keeping track of how many times you have paid verses them? That is not healthy nor is it normal.

Some couples also keep track of how many mistakes the other one has made in their relationship and uses those mistakes to their advantage. This is dangerous and causes unnecessary tension in your relationship and the possibility of a happily ever after.

5. Spying

Trust is key, right? So why are you snooping through his emails and sock drawers? If you are always suspecting him to be hiding something from you, then maybe you are not as trusting as you think. Have confidence in your partner. Unless he shows obvious signs of cheating or something of that sort, there is no reason for you to be worried about his faithfulness.

6. Constantly comparing them to your ex

Forget about your ex. You chose your partner for a reason. If you keep looking at the past and comparing your current relationship to it, you may set unrealistic expectations for you and/or your partner.

7. Doing EVERYTHING together

You can’t remember the last time you spent the evening with friends. You spend all of your free time with your partner. If this is you, ask yourself this question, “Am I allowed to see my other friends?” If you are choosing to spend your time with your love, that is one thing. But if you are feeling forced to replace them with your partner, this is not healthy and can be a sign of abuse or a very controlling companion.

Tana is a student with a passion for words. She believes that written words can touch people in ways unimaginable. In her spare time she enjoys singing, hiking, cuddling in a fuzzy blanket, and spending time with her friends and family.

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