Mom of Columbine victim reveals how the 'prophetic' contents of her daughter's journals shocked her

Posted October 17

A mother who lost her daughter in the Columbine High School massacre 17 years ago is hoping to have a big impact on America's young generation.

Beth Nimmo, mom of 17-year-old victim Rachel Joy Scott, told the "The Church Boys" podcast last week that she's hoping a new movie about her daughter's life, titled, "I Am Not Ashamed," will "touch a whole generation of young people."

Nimmo said many kids and young adults today weren't around to experience the tragic fallout from events like Columbine and 9/11, so she's hoping the new film, which releases on Oct. 21, will inspire youths to think deeper about their lives.

"They're still looking for purpose, something bigger than themselves," she said, noting that her daughter's story could help them. "Rachel found something worth living for and something worth dying for … it was her faith, and she based all of her writings and her ethics … on her love and trust in the Lord."

Nimmo added, "I want kids to know that their life has value and purpose."

Listen to her share Scott's story here.

Scott was among those murdered at the hands of fellow students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the killers who went on a deadly rampage inside Columbine High School on April 20, 1999.

Ever since, the teen has become known for her intense Christian faith as well as the writings she left behind — journal entries some believe were prophetic.

In addition to journal entries that seemed to show that Scott knew her life was coming to a close, the teen also drew a picture just before her death of eyes crying 13 tears; Harris and Klebold killed 13 people in the school that day.

Among the plethora of notes and images discovered in the journal, Nimmo said she found her daughter's writings about death the most shocking.

"She wasn't suicidal … she wasn't depressed. Rachel had a joy for life, a joy for living," Nimmo said. "She never communicated that she considered death, although I have to say she would comment that she couldn't see a future for herself."

Scott apparently talked about how she couldn't see herself getting married in the future or having children. But there was one entry, in particular, that really stunned Nimmo.

"(On) May 2, 1998, (she) said, 'This will be my last year Lord. I've gotten what I can. Thank you,'" Nimmo told "The Church Boys," adding that she would have been concerned had she seen these entries before her daughter's death.

But looking back, Nimmo believes something supernatural was happening, and that God was working in her daughter's life.

"The truth is … I would have interrupted what God was doing in her heart and her spirit," she said. "It was so private and it was so just between her and the Lord."

Nimmo said Scott left behind a "legacy of writings" that have a purpose, with some of that content forming the basis of "I Am Not Ashamed." And, as Deseret News has reported, Scott's story has been shared across the globe since her untimely death, but never before in feature film form.

"Even though we've shared to millions over the past 17 years, we've never done anything that brought it to the big screen," Nimmo said.

It's her hope that Scott's personal story of living out her faith through compassion and kindness will inspire viewers.

"I just felt like it was very critical that people see that all the good things she's been credited for doing and saying really come from her love of the Lord," Nimmo said.

But Scott isn't the only person with a lesson to share, as Nimmo and her family have shown that forgiveness is powerful, choosing to let go of anger and not harbor hatred — and her example is one that could help lead to personal healing for many others as well.

"We forgive because the Lord commands us to forgive — and its a process," she said. "It's not just a one-time thing."

Watch the trailer for "I Am Not Ashamed" here.

Nimmo said what happened to her daughter was clearly a "life sentence," but that she quickly learned she had to let go of the pain if she, too, didn't want the situation to control her life.

And it wasn't easy. Scott's death posed a "drastic change" for Nimmo and her family, transforming their lives in almost every way imaginable.

"Not only did I lose Rachel, but I had a survivor," she said of her son, Craig, who was also a student at Columbine High School at the time.

Nimmo had to stop working and stay at home to help care for her son and family — just one of the many ways in which she was deeply changed.

Now, 17 years later, Nimmo still believes she has been tasked with doing something good after the horror that unfolded on April 20, 1999.

"Everything that happens, the Lord knows how that can be turned and worked for our good, even though it's painful, extremely painful," Nimmo said. "We saw purpose."

Find out more about "I Am Not Ashamed" here.

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